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Ono Jokes

What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?

They are both living off of dead beatles.

Say ONO.

Now ONU.

Now ONI.

Now ONA.

Now ONE.

You just said oh-nee, didn't you?

Yoko Ono was abducted by alien lawyers in a UFO

They offered to represent her pro bono

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you heard of the Japanese Ono bird?

It has legs that are five inches long, and a penis that is eight inches long. You can tell it by its distinctive cry when it comes in for a landing.

"Oh no!"

What did people say when the Beatles broke up?

Ono

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Okay I have never seen this here and I have searched with 0 results but it’s in honor of my 50 year old brother who told it too me and recently passed away, (not related).

A man went to the circus and he sat with his wife a children, the circus began and all went well until the clown arrived, for some reason the clown focused on the man and humiliated him with he greatest of ease. He called him names, laughed at his clothes, joked about his accent, ridiculed where he ...

I have ranked the greatest musicians of all time in order:

Nelly

Erika Badu

Vanilla Ice

Eminem

Rhianna




Green Day

Oasis

Nirvana

Nine inch Nails

Aerosmith



George Strait

Ilene Woods

Vince Gill

Enya



Yoko ono

Otis Redding

U...

Rick Astley and James Blunt are in a bar having a pint

And they are talking about all the celebrities they knew :-

Rick Astley said "I met Yoko Ono in Soho once" but James had never met her before

James mentioned he was good friends with Carrie Fisher, unfortunately Rick had never met her

Rick Mentioned once going to dinner with ...

Turning back the clock an hour in 2020

Is like getting a bonus track on a Yoko Ono album.

There's usually workers at supermarkets who temperature probe incoming deliveries

It's to make sure the temperature is below the required level and the produce hasn't spoiled.

They don't get paid for doing this, they just do it probe ono

It's been scientifically proven that John Lennon did some much LSD in the 60s.....

That he fell in love with Yoko Ono.

What do you call a COVID19 + person's sneeze?

Coronal Mass Ejection! ^Astr^ono^my

What does a furry say when having a gun pointed at them?

ONO

The assassination of John Lennon is one of the biggest tragedies in music

Not even one of the five bullets hit Yoko Ono

Why was John Lennon shocked when he got his wife's gynecologist bill?

He had misunderstood the doctor when he said "I do probe Ono."

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For Sale: Complete Set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 Volumes

Excellent condition. $ 1000 ONO. No longer needed. Got married last week. Wife knows fucking everything.

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What’s yellow and lives off dead beetles?

Yoko Ono.

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The Beatles have reformed and have brought out a new album. It’s mostly drum and bass.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Dad sent me this email titled "Politically Correct Jokes"

Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex.
I woke this morning with a huge correction.



The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers .......
So I did.... she's 21 and her name's Lucy



My girlfriend sa...

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