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Nice Guy Jokes

Rick Astley is such a nice guy

He'll let you borrow any of his Disney Pixar DVD collection! Except Up!

He's Never Gonna Give You Up

I met a nice guy online. He says he's from South Korea.

I think he might be my Seoulmate

During interviews he seems like such a nice guy, but the actor who plays Wolverine is a real phoney

It’s a huge act, man..

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How many "friendzoned" nice guys does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they'll just compliment it for hours and get pissed when it won't screw.

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Who came up with the phrase “nice guys finish last”?

A sex therapist

Why do "nice guys" suck at Chess

They never protect the king, always the queen

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To all the women who only date assholes, nice guys are better in bed.

They always finish last.

“Nice guys finish last” is a good thing.

Women hate it when the guy finishes first.

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Nice guys always finish last.

Which makes us really good in bed. Come on ladies..give us a try.

Picked up a hitch-hiker. Seemed like a nice guy

After a few miles, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might have Covid. I told him the odds of two people with Covid being in the same car were extremely unlikely.

There's this new guy on my bowling team. His name is Frank, and he's a really nice guy and an excellent bowler, but there's just one thing about him.

At the end of every game, Frank says, "Next game, I might be five minutes late." The rest of us guys find it really annoying. He almost always shows up right on time, but still, he always says, "Next game, I might be five minutes late."

One day we decided that we wanted to find out why he alw...

Women always say they want a Nice guy...

But, once again, the love of my life has run off with someone from Paris!

Why do they bury lawyers 12 feet deep?

Because deep down, they're really nice guys.

“Nice Guys Finish Last”

Actually, they usually finish first. But if they’re truly nice, they’ll help you finish, too.

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Donald Trump was asked " what is 2+2"??

"I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, 'Sir!, What's 2+2?' And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Ad...

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Nice Guys Finish Last

I hate it when I am about to finish and as a gentlemen I ask: "Where do you want it?"

Then she tries to be all sexy and whispers seductively: "Anywhere you want."

Then all of a sudden she's blind and I'm an asshole.

Why was the nice guy terrible at baseball?

He never got to third base.

Being a nice guy is like the Canadian military..

Cute, innocent, isn't taken seriously and will never get any action

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Had a plumber install a toilet for me and he was a really nice guy

I feel terrible knowing I’m shitting all over his hard work.

A handsome man in a suit approaches a young lady at a bar and asks if he can buy her a drink. "Don’t you have a girlfriend?" she asked. "Guys like you always have girlfriends."

He looked downcast, "No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago."

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that," she said, "OK then, I'll have a white wine please."

One glass of wine led to a second. A few drinks later after a kiss and a cuddle they headed off back to her place and made passionate love...

Everyone says that as a nice guy/gentleman, I'm a dying breed and that I should be on the endanger species list.

I wonder if there is a breeding program for my kind.

Note: First time posting on r/Jokes

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I was referred to this proctologist. I thought he was a nice guy.

But he just turned out to be another asshole doctor.

Dating a nice guy.

Sam: Your boyfriend seems real nice.

Alex: Yea, he's the best!

Sam: He seems a little TOO nice though, can't be all that exciting in the bedroom.

Alex: Not true, what they say about nice guys is true you know.

Sam: What's that?

Alex: Nice guys ALWAYS finish last.

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.

Went out, had a few drinks. Nice Guy. He's a Web Designer.

Two nice guys didn't walk into a bar

They both insists they would hold the door for each others.

Help! My husband's too controlling!

Edit: No he's not, he's a really nice guy

This lady was at the supermarket crying hysterically

I said what’s the matter???

She said I just lost $200
And I can’t find it!


Me being the nice guy I am…

I gave her $50 from the $200 I just found

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My girlfriend told me she was glad that she finally met a nice guy with a big dick and a fat wallet.

I should have never introduced her to my dad.

So a mushroom walks into a bar. Bartender says "We don't serve mushrooms here. You're always ruining jokes."

The mushroom says "Come on. I'm a nice guy."

Sahara Desert.

A somewhat predictable oldie but amusing nevertheless.

A guy was lost in the Sahara Desert, desperate for water, when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image only to find a little old man sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties la...

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The leprechaun and the golfer

A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him.

Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him.<...

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A young woman visits a florist to get some flowers for her mother.

As she's perusing, she notices the most gorgeous rose she's ever seen sitting next to the cashier, and asks for its price.

"Oh, sorry," the cashier replies. "That one's not for sale. I got that as a gift from a fellow florist for hooking him up with a woman I met yesterday."

"Yesterd...

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