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Mountain Top Jokes

Why did the mountain top butcher shop go out of business?

The steaks were to high.

How does a shepherd find a sheep on a mountain top?

Acceptable

Once upon a time there was a monk, who farmed carrots.

Every day a thief would sneak into his farm and steal 3 carrots. The monk always tried to stop him, but never succeeded. He began to wonder why the thief was stealing exactly 3 carrots each time. He decided he was going to stop the thief. He started chasing him through the fields, but got outran ver...

In my past life, I was a warrior for an Indian Tribe, and was madly in love with the chiefs daughter

In this tribe we were named after the first thing our mothers saw when we were born. And His daughter, Lily Petal, was absolutely beautiful, and everyday I sighed knowing there was nothing I could do to ever win her attention. I was just boring old Falling Rock, a nobody warrior.

But one day,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pussy Willows

Two old friends hadn’t seen each other in years, because they lived so far away from each other. So they decided to meet in the middle, and take a weekend getaway golf trip.

They hit up a course tucked high up in the rockies, in a valley surrounded by white capped mountains. It was truly som...

Moses ascends to the mountaintop...

Moses ascends to the mountain top. When he reaches its peak, the voice of God booms from the sky above:

“Moses!” It bellows, “This is the voice of God!”

“You’re God!?” Moses replies, awestruck.

“Yes, it is I, The one true God!”

“I don’t believe it! You’re really God!”
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why God never got a PhD

1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English.
3. It has no references.
4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal.
5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since
t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day in class...

The teacher called 3 native boys and asked which tribe they were from. The first boy said "I am Souix". The second boy said " I am Cherokee". The third boy said "I am Fukowi". Confused, the teacher asked "How do you know?" The boy responded "I was walking with my father on a mountain top, when h...

A hunter and his guide.

After a all day spent walking, a hunter and his guide finally reached the mountain top. By night, around the camp fire, the two talk to each other:
- You now Mike, yo're a great guide and I feel that I can trust you, but I wonder: if I was caught in some accident of fallen ill, how would you do t...

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