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A crusty old Marine Corps Colonel found himself at a gala event downtown, hosted by a local liberal arts college.

There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Colonel for conversation.

She said, "Excuse me, sir, but you seem to be a very serious man. Are you this way all the time, or is something bothering you?"
"No," the Colonel said, "just ser...

Why do liberals hate dentists?

Because dentists make teeth straight and white.

My liberal friend asked me why we think owning gun is a God given right when noone in Bible had one.

I corrected him that Paul had epistle...

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes."

I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"

He said, "A Christian."

I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"

He said, "Protestant."

I said, "Me, too! What franchise?"

He said, "Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Bap...

A young conservative man went on Reddit and pretended to be liberal to fit in.

It's been almost a year and his family still won't shut up about fraudulent upvotes.

Why can’t republicans use hand sanitizer?

Because the directions say to apply liberally

Why are liberal politics so confusing?

In liberal politics, left is right and right is wrong

Breaking news

Teacher Arrested At Pearson Airport
A high school teacher was arrested today at Toronto's Pearson Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.

At a press conference, Premier Kathleen Wynne said she believ...

I don't care what the liberal media says about the election. Come January, my national leader isn't going to change, and his name starts with T, R, and U.

It's Justin Trudeau. I'm Canadian.

Why are there so many rednecks in Florida?

Because sunscreen instructions include: “apply liberally”

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Liberals are acting like Trump is going to kill all the gays, make slavery legal again, and take away women's rights....

Like he's a Muslim or something.

I'm so sick of this "libeRAl aGenda".

I just bought a new radio for my nightstand. On the radio it says "Built In Antenna". I don't even know where that is!

Does anyone know where I can buy American made products?!?!

What's the difference between 4-layer toilet paper and a liberal arts major?

You don't find 4-layer toilet paper at McDonalds!

The Joy of Sects

A man crossing a bridge sees a suicidal chap about to take a big dive, Thinking he could be the good Samaritan, he stops and calls to the jumper.

GS: "Hey Buddy, Lets talk, Don't do anything rash, life is good, lets find something to talk about, Say tell me friend, are you religious?"

...

Liberal people support human rights and the idea that people with disabilities should have equal labor market opportunities.

Now there is a disabled guy in the White House and all they do is compalain about it.

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WW2. An Italian bishop is visiting a cloisters shortly after the liberation of the country...

He meets with the mother superior and asks her how she and the nuns did during the nazi occupation.

"Oh it was terrible, father. First came the fascists and violated all, but sister Rosa. Then it was the Germans, and they too violated all, but sister Rosa. Then came the partisans ...

The big questions

What are the big questions a philosopher, scientist and liberal arts grad seek to answer?

The Philosopher: “What is the meaning of existence?”

The Scientist: “Why are things the way they are?”

The Liberal Arts Grad: “Would you like some fries with that?”

Why don't you put a post office next to a liberal arts college?

They'll always argue over the male agenda.

A beautiful young woman who is very liberated, walks into a bar completely naked. She stands in front of the bartender and says "I'll take a cold beer!" The bartender serves her the beer and stares at her, not moving. "What's wrong?" she says "Haven't you ever seen a naked woman?"

"Yes, many times!" the bartender replies
Then why do you look? the woman asks.
"I want to see where you're going to get the money to pay for the beer!"

Why is Reddit full of liberals?

All the conservatives are out working.

Just the way America does it

If the United States saw what the United States is doing in the United States, the United States would invade the United States to liberate the United States from the tyranny of the United States

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A palestinian calls a sheikh for religious advice..

A palestinian called a sheikh and asked: "If we liberate Palestine and Al Aqsa, then we catch an israelian woman soldier and fuck her, would that be halal?" The sheikh replied "You liberate Palestine and you can fuck my mom too"

Three liberal arts degree students walk into a bar

Next week, it was a Starbucks cafe

Why are conservatives known as rednecks?

They don’t use sunscreen because the bottle says to apply liberally.

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What do you call a homosexual supreme ruler with neither conservative nor liberal views?

Mod Czar Gay

Dear liberals, stop crying about being called a snowflake.

In 20 years, nobody will remember what snowflakes are anyway.

What's a liberal's favorite drink?

Wine

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Liberal party leader Justin Trudeau attended the Assembly of First Nations annual summer meeting in Whitehorse.

Trudeau said he wasn't there to speak to the chiefs but to listen.


Then he spoke for almost two hours on his success in bringing the Liberal Party back into the hearts of the Canadian people and how he was going to legalize marijuana and the many ways that he was going to help the Firs...

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One of my posts got taken down for being“inappropriate/political” because I used the word liberal

How is it political to say “I’m liberal with the amount of kids I fit in my basement”

A liberal and a conservative enter a bar. They sit down and each one orders a beer. After a while, they start to talk about immigration policy.

They start to argue if the USA needs immigrants or not.


After a few hours when it looks like both used all arguments they could find to sustain their position, the liberal says:


“You know, Trump is the living proof that America needs immigrants.”


“How so?” responds t...

I was told today the Liberals suck

It was at that point I realized why conservative men are so uptight all the time

My sunscreen said to "apply liberally"...

...so i cried about Trump while i put it on.

How many liberals does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows they just say. "Why can't the room be black you fascist"

My son is doing a social experiment for school.

He plans on wearing an "I love Liberals" shirt out in public and will be recording the interactions with others. So far he has been cussed at, spit at, slapped, and even threatened. Im afraid what will happen when he actually leaves the house.

No wonder reddit is so liberal

It has a 99% recycling rate

My grandfather served in WW2 during the liberation of France

One day I asked him “ Did you ever kill anybody?”.

He goes silent, looked me deep in the eyes and said “probably, I was the cook”

Why did the pirate not like the old video game with a liberal-leaning political message?

It was hard to port

Why did the liberal not want to talk to the socialist?

Because they are anti-social.

I was in Idaho last week, and found out what their state bird is.

A middle finger to liberals.

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What do you call a basement full of liberals?

A whine cellar.

Why does it seem like 90% of Redditors are hardcore liberal atheists?

Because the conservatives are at work.

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My pet beagle was originally liberated from an animal testing laboratory

Had to let her go. Too expensive. The little fucker smoked 80 Marlboros a day.

How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

I just saw a strip club across the street from a mini-golf place. Now, I'm pretty liberal, but I think that's taking it too far.

What if you're trying to enjoy a nice afternoon out with your family, but when you leave, your kids have to watch a bunch of losers playing mini-golf?

As liberal as I am, Donald Trump and I do have one thing in common.

If Ivanka weren't his daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her.

A liberal, a moderate, and a conservative walk into a bar...

the bartender says 'hey, Mitt.'

How many Liberals does it take to change a lightbulb?

Liberals: Changing the bulb is too extreme. Let's fix the current one in the dark.

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Two Covid deniers die of Covid and go to heaven. God tell them they can ask anything they want and get the truth....

Two Covid deniers die of Covid and go to heaven. God tell them they can ask anything they want and get the truth

Covid Denier 1: So there was no such thing as covid, right? I died of lung cancer or something!

God: No, Covid is real, you died of covid just like the Doctors said.
...

A fascist, liberal, and communist start arguing who’s got a better ideology

To settle their argument, they decide to see whose ideology can make a cat eat mustard.

Fascist takes a spoonful of mustard and forcefully shoves it down the cat’s throat.

Liberal puts mustard between two pieces of tasty meat and thus tricks the cat into eating it.

Communist sme...

I don't know why people say that no employer will be interested in your liberal arts degree.

I would love to hire someone who has clearly shown that they don't care at all about how much money they make.

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Liberals think that Trump doesn't like the planet

well then why's he trying to fuck it?

Recent study shows that 1 in 3 liberals...

are just as stupid as the other two

Liberals are more generous than conservatives

Not only are they generous with their own money, they are also generous with other people's money!

(This is just a joke sorry)

If you're a liberal arts major, here's a tip

$5, and be glad it's 20%.

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Well, it finally happened today, I knew it would eventually so I was ready.

I came out of Walmart with my mask on and keeping six feet away from everyone, I pushed my cart to my car, all the while wearing my face mask. A woman was getting out of her car next to me with no mask. As I'm putting groceries into my car she says, "Let me guess - you're a liberal - ‘cause that ma...

A liberal wins the powerball!

Millionaires and Billionaires aren't so bad now after all!

Studies show liberals are less susceptible to 'fake news'

I read it on Facebook.

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US Forces have just liberated thousands of ISIS sex slaves...

All the goats and other livestock are being moved to an undisclosed location and are awaiting to be reunited with their farmers.

A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions...

A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, professor, what if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion; that's my wife!"

A Democrat and a Republican were walking along the beach when they spotted a bottle.

They picked it up and a genie popped out.

"I will grant you each one wish, whatever you desire", said the genie.

The Democrat said, "I would like for my fellow liberals and I to live the life and exist under the form of government we believe in!" POOF! All the Democrats in America were...

What's the difference between a liberal and a conservative?

One wants to kill in the first trimester and the other wants to kill in the hundred sixtith trimester.

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