Did you know that drinking the fluids inside of lava lamps gives you strange powers?

Seriously! I tried it, and I teleported to a hospital!

Girl, are you a lava lamp?

Cause I could watch you go up and down for hours

Signs you drink too much coffee

- You answer the door before people knock.

- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.

- You ski uphill.

- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

- You lick your coffeepot clean.

- You're the employee of ...

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