UPJOKE
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What do you call stolen digestive medication?

Klepto-Bismol

A kleptomaniac walks into a bar

a kleptomaniac walks into a bar and orders 5 martinis. "Five is an awful lot," the bartender remarks. "Yes," the klepto agrees, "but at these prices they're a steal."

What would you call stolen stomach medicine?

Klepto Bismol

I love stealing but it gives me severe diarrhea.

So I take klepto bismol.

What's the best thing to give to a constipated burglar?

Klepto-bismol

Why can't you be funny with kleptomaniacs?

They take things literally.

Have you heard of this medicine that makes people steal things?

It's called Klepto-Bismol.

TIFU - I made a bad decision and now I can't get my laptop fixed.

FYI This is a story from last year, not today.

So I had a laptop that was playing up. The screen kept going all janky. One day there was a popping noise and a smell of burning plastic, so I thought that was enough and I contacted the service department.

I found out they had an office...

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