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Ice Cream Shop Jokes

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A dumb kid walks into an ice cream shop...

Kid: “I’ll have a scoop of vanilla and a scoop of chocolate please.”

Clerk: “Sorry kid, we're out of chocolate.”

Kid: “OK. Make it a scoop of strawberry and a scoop of chocolate.”

Clerk: “No, no, you don't understand, it’s *chocolate* we're out of,”

Kid: “Ah, OK. Then gim...

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So a guy walks into an ice cream shop..

He asks the clerk 'hello sir may I have a quart of vanilla?'

The clerk politely responds 'Im sorry we're fresh out of vanilla'

The man clearly disappointed says 'ah shucks alright I guess I'll just take a pint of vanilla'

The clerk slightly agitated states 'Sir we are complet...

A lady walks into an ice cream shop. "Can I get a chocolate scoop on a cone?" she asks.

"Sorry, ma'am, but we're out of chocolate ice cream," says the man behind the counter.
"Oh, well then can I get a chocolate sundae?" she asks.
"We're out of chocolate," he repeats.
"Well, how about a chocolate milkshake?"
The man is frustrated at this point and decides to teach h...

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A Guy walks into an ice cream shop

he goes up to the counter and asks for two scoops of chocolate.

The clerk: oh well this is sort of embarrassing.... I'm afraid we are all out of chocolate.. all I have left is vanilla and strawberry. I can get you one of those if you like.

The guy: what? how could you be out of chocola...

A penguin decides to take a road trip and drive across the country to see the world.

A penguin decides to take a road trip and drive across the country to see the world. So, he hops into his car and starts driving. He's cruising down the highway when suddenly, his car starts making strange noises, and smoke starts pouring out from under the hood.
Panicked, the penguin manages t...

What’s the motto of an ice cream shop in paradise?

Heaven ice day

I was offered a job at the local ice cream shop

But I turned it down.

I don't like working on sundaes.

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona...

...and sees that the car's oil-pressure light is on.He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice cream shop, and being a penguin...

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While waiting in line at an ice cream shop an elderly woman orders a plain chocolate cone.

The man behind the counter said “we’re out of chocolate today but there are other flavors with chocolate in them, what would you like?”

She again attempts to order plain chocolate. The man repeats “Ma’am we’re out of chocolate today but there are other flavors with chocolate in them, what wou...

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So a guy walks into an ice cream shop.

The owner walks up and asks the man what he would like.

“I’ll take a chocolate ice cream in a cone please.”

“Sorry, we’re actually out of chocolate. We only have vanilla and strawberry available,” replies the owner.

“Hmmm, well in that case I’ll take a scoop of chocolate in a cu...

A bear walks into an ice cream shop

Ice cream man: What can i get for ya?

Bear: Hi, i'd like a scoop of the chocolate...

ICM:

Bear:

ICM:

Bear: Chip.

ICM: Alright! One scoop of chocolate chip coming right up! By the way, what's with the pause?

Bear: \*waving paws in the air\* I'm a be...

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A woman walks into an ice cream shop

And orders a chocolate ice cream. The young man assisting her kindly informs her they are a unique ice cream shop and only sell two flavors, Vanilla and Strawberry.

She replies rudely, “Well this is news to me so I’ll obviously need more time to decide.”

She’s staring at the menu with...

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A man walks into an ice cream shop...

... and tells the clerk "I want a gallon of Vanilla ice cream, a gallon of Strawberry ice cream, and a gallon of Chocolate ice cream." The clerk replies, "I'm sorry sir, we don't have any Chocolate." "Ok then" the man continues "I want a quart of Vanilla ice cream, a quart of Strawberry ice cream, a...

A teacher asks her students a simple math question…

“There are 3 birds on a wire, one gets shot, how many are left?”

Little Johnny raises his hand, “there are none left, once the one bird was shot the other two flew away ”

Teacher tells Johnny he is wrong, but she likes the way he thinks.

Johnny then inquired, “may I ask you a qu...

The penguin and the mechanic

A penguin is driving a rental car through Arizona when, suddenly, the air conditioner stops working. The penguin, frantic with the heat, swerves into the first car repair shop he sees.

Penguin jumps out yelling, "Quick, quick! Drop everything and fix my air conditioner. I'm literally dying...

Guy walks into an ice cream shop

And says give me some chocolate, some marshmallows, and some almonds. The elderly gentleman working the counter says “Careful son, you’re heading down a rocky road.”

The local ice cream shop has introduced a new mixed fruit flavour of ice cream dedicated to the president of the United States

They call it the Im-peached orange.

They say it is good, perhaps the greatest in the history of mixed fruit ice creams.

Man walks into an ice cream shop.

A man walked into a small, locally-owned ice cream shop. So small, in fact, that the owner of the shop was working the counter that day. He had the following conversation with the owner;

**Man:** Hi, I'd like a single scoop of chocolate ice cream in a waffle cone, and give me a whole bunc...

A penguin sent his car to the mechanic before going to the ice cream shop...

He ordered vanilla ice cream and gobbles it down before going back to the mechanic.

Mechanic: It looks like you blew a seal.

Penguin: Ah no that’s just ice cream.

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A woman walks into an ice cream shop

A woman walks into an ice cream shop.

She looks at the selection and says "umm... I'll have a pint of chocolate ice cream please."

The guy working there says "I'm sorry ma'am, but we are out of chocolate."

She nods and looks back at the flavors, "Ok...well in that case... I'll ...

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A politician walks into an ice cream shop

He orders 1 scoop of plain vanilla ice cream.
The employee asked him if he'd like some sprinkles.


Long story short, it took him 30 fucking minutes to answer yes.

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Kid in an ice-cream shop

A six year old kid walks into an ice cream shop in Chicago dressed as a cowboy and ask the girl at the counter for 2 scoops of chocolate ice cream.
The girl responds "would you like chocolate syrup and nuts on that?"
The kid responds with a "you bet yah!"
The girl then ask the kid "would y...

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Welcome to the ice cream shop.

So a man walks into an ice cream shop. He looks around and then walks up to the clerk.
Clerk: "Welcome! How can I help you?"
Customer: "Hi, can i have a cup of chocolate ice cream?"
Clerk: "I'm sorry sir but we don't actually have any chocolate at the moment. We're all out."
Customer loo...

What do you call a WWE wrestler who works at an ice cream shop?

Cold Stone Steve Austin

A boy walks into an ice cream shop and asks the attendant

"Do you have pea ice cream?"

"No" he replies.

After a week the same kid goes back to the ice cream shop and asks: "Do you have pea ice cream?"

"No" he replies. "That's ridiculous."

After a few days, the same boy walks into the shop and asks the same question, getting th...

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[Long] A woman walks up to an ice cream shop...

She asks the man running the shop for 2 scoops of chocolate ice cream in a waffle cone.

The man replied, "I'm sorry, but the freezer where we kept all the chocolate ice cream broke, so we don't have any kind of chocolate ice cream in the shop. Can we get you anything else?"

The woman t...

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A woman walks into an ice cream shop and orders

A woman walks into an ice cream shop and orders "a half gallon of vanilla, a half gallon of strawberry, and a half gallon of chocolate".

The man behind the counter politely says "Sorry ma'am, we're all out of chocolate".

She replies "Fine, I'll have a half gallon of vanilla, a half gal...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into an ice cream shop...

A man walks into an ice cream shop. "I will have a gallon of chocolate ice cream."

"Sorry, we are all out of chocolate," says the clerk.

"In that case I will have a quart of chocolate ice cream."

"Listen, we don't have any chocolate."

"Well, in that case I will have a...

Did you hear about the serial killer that got killed in a standoff with the police in an ice cream shop?

He got what he dessert.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Onion-Flavored Ice Cream

One day this kid walks into an ice cream parlor and asks the guy behind the counter "Do you have onion-flavored ice cream?"

The guy says, "No, we don't have onion-flavored ice cream."
So the kid says, "Ok" and leaves.

The next day, the kid comes back in and asks the same question...

An old man shuffled really slowly into an ice cream shop and said, “Can I have a banana split?”

Server: Sure. Crushed nuts?

Old man: No, Arthritis.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just seen a guy

Just seen a guy at the ice cream shop beating the shit out of a bottle of ice cream topping.

I think it was assaulted caramel

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down.

AAA (Antarctic Automobile Assn) tows it to the garage in the nearest town, where the mechanic says he has time to look at it, give him half an hour.

The penguin wanders down the street to an ice cream shop and decides to beat the heat with a cone of his favorite flavor, vanilla. Of course, b...

There's a penguin driving through the desert when suddenly his car breaks down...

Spying a service station, he quickly pulls over and gets out to speak with the mechanic. The man agrees to fix the car, but tells the penguin to wait for an hour or so while he works. To pass the time, the penguin walk next door to a little ice cream shop and has a big ol' vanilla sundae while he ...

A man and his 5 year old son are out for a walk.

The kid stops next to an ice cream shop :
- Daddy , daddy can you buy me an ice cream?
- Sorry son but your mother only gave me enough money to buy 6 beers.

A penguin in the desert

A penguin is driving through the desert when all of the sudden his car starts spewing smoke from under the hood and slows down. He manages to drive it to a small desert town and sees an auto mechanic’s shop and pulls in. The mechanic tells him he’s a little busy but can take a look at his car in a...

(Tagged NSFW to be on the safe side)This penguin is out in a road trip.

You know, just seein’ the sights, being a tourist.

He gets out on the freeway and really opens ‘er up tearing siwn the road.

Suddenly, his car gives a pop, and smoke starts billowing out of his hood.

Cripes, he thinks, and he pulls off the freeway and slowly works his way to a m...

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A penguin was driving through town

Heading up a small hill, his little penguin car started having trouble pulling the grade. Seeing a mechanic shop, he pulled in. He explain the issue to the mechanic, who tells him it will take about an hour for him to get to it. "So what am I supposed to do for an hour?", the penguin asked. THe mec...

A penguin, some ice cream, and a mechanic.

A penguin is driving in the desert on a remote highway, when his car suddenly begins making funny noises, and smoke begins pouring out of the engine.

He pulls into a gas station that also happens to have a mechanic. He asks the mechanic about his car being fixed.

“I’ll take a look at ...

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