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Guinness Brewery Jokes

Death at the Guinness Brewery

Pat O’ Hara and Sean O’Toole lived next door to each other in Dublin. They worked the graveyard shift at the Guinness Brewery at St. James Gate together for 20 years. Every evening they would leave for work together at 11:30 pm and every morning they would return from work at 8:30 am.
One morning...

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A Guinness brewery worker travels to the home of his co-worker with bad news.

'I'm sorry Mary, but Keith died at the brewery today'.

'Oh my god!' replied Mary, 'What happened?!'

'He drown in a vat of Guinness Stout' said the worker, sadly.

'That's terrible! Was it a quick death at least?' asked Mary.

'I'm afraid not,' the worker replied, 'He got ou...

A man who works at the Guinness brewery in Dublin, Ireland goes to his best friend's house.

The friend's wife opens the door and sees the look of grief on the man's face.

"I'm sorry, there's been a terrible accident and Liam died."

"Dear God, no!!! How?!"

"He fell in a vat of beer and drowned."

"Just tell me one thing: did he suffer?"

"I don't think so. H...

Mrs Donnelly: Mick? You took me husband Donnie on da trip to Guinness brewery, and heres you are alone. Where's me Donnie?

Mick: Its terrible news, miss. Donnie were leanin over one of those great big vats of stout, fell in and drowned.


Mrs Donnelly (starting to tear up): Oh lord in heaven... Mick! At least tell me he died quick.


Mick: I can't miss. He got out to pee three times.

Happy Saint...

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The Guinness Brewery

Mary O'Malley was waiting at home for her husband to come home from work at the Guinness brewery. While she was putting the finishing touches on dinner, she hears a knock on the door. Mary goes to the door to find her husband's friend/coworker, Seamus, on the other side.

"Oh, Seamus! Come i...

Pat and Mike work at the Guinness Brewery, and one day there's an accident. Pat calls Mike's wife, Mary, and says: "Sure, and I hate to be tellin ya this, but there's been an accident down at the Guinness."

"Saints Preserve us," says she, "is Mike alright?"

Pat responds, "I'd like to tell ya that, but it'd be a lie!"

"Ya don't mean that me Mike's been hurt?" says Mary.

"Sure, an it's worse than that," says Pat, "he's fallen inta the beer vat and drowned!"

"Oh, well" says Mar...

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, When Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.

"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya".

"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"

"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."

"Oh, God no!" cries Brend...

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