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Gambling Problem Jokes

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A gambling problem.

So there's an 80 year old man who one day gets a call from the IRS.

IRS: hello sir we've noticed large amounts of money moving into and out of your account and I need you to come down for a meeting tomorrow and explain some things or we may have to perform an audit.

The old man agree...

Gambling Problem

When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says: "If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."

I thought about it for a moment and dialed the number. When they answered I said, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"

So now I have a gambling problem???

I don't know who's spreading these lies, but my money's on Mike.

My family tried giving me an intervention for my gambling problem.

I bet them $100 each that I don’t have a problem, easy money

My shrink says i have a gambling problem..

i asked "doctor is there a cure" she said "no dice!"

My girlfriend says she's going to leave me because I have a gambling problem

But I think she's bluffing.

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Have you heard about the old man's gambling problem?

An old man had a gambling problem not a bad one but a really good one. He was depositing thousands each day.

A few months pass and seeing as the old man had no job was contacted by the IRS to discuss his income.

The old man arrives with his lawyer to speak with the IRS agent. The agen...

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Young Jimmy has a terrible gambling problem.

Jimmy's Dad goes to talk to his teacher before class one morning. "Ms. Thompson, my son Jimmy has a terrible gambling problem, he bets on everything, he'd even bet on what tomorrow's temperature would be." he says. Ms. Thompson replies "Yes I have noticed his gambling, and it disrputs the class and ...

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3 priests are out fishing on a boat..

One of them says "We should confess our sins to one another."

The first one says "I have a gambling problem, I sneak out at night and gamble away all my money..

The second one says "I have an addiction to porn and can't stop looking at it."

The third one says "I am a gossip and ...

My friend once told me, "I think you have a gambling problem."

$50 says he has no idea what he's talking about.

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Gambling problem...

So this average guy in an average town was at his average job on an average day. Let's call him Average Joe. Joe for short.

Joe was working away, about 15 minutes from clocking out, and heard a voice in his head that said, "Quit your job, sell your house, go to Vegas." Joe just thought he ov...

Did you hear about the guy who had such a gambling problem, he sold every single body part to pay for it?

He should have quit while he was still a head.

I used to have a horrible gambling problem...

.. but I wager I'll never gamble again.

I told my buddy we should go to a gambling anonymous meeting. He said ‘Why? We don’t have gambling problems!’

I replied, ‘You wanna bet?’

Walked in my home to find my family members all sitting around to give me an intervention about my so called gambling problems

Bet them each $100 I don’t have a problem. Easiest bet of my life.

Did you know the Dalai Lama has a gambling problem?

Yeah, he loves Tibet

Why did the Necromancer with a gambling problem get kicked out of the Slaughterhouse...

He kept raising the steaks.

What’s the best way to lose some pounds?

Having a gambling problem in the UK.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

I have a gambling problem.

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Little Johnny...

Little Johnny was all set to start grade three. On his first day, Little Johnny's dad insisted on taking him inside to meet with the teacher.

Once there, Johnny's dad took the teacher aside and said, "Mrs. Velasquez, I'm Johnny's father. I want to warn you in advance that Johnny has a gambli...

A Gambler Retires

This guy had a serious gambling problem, but thankfully tended win quite often. He amassed a colossal sum of money over many decades of his vice, and decided to retire to somewhere far away. He ran across pictures online of a location that seemed to be perfect for him: a mountainous region in Easter...

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The Bet

Little Johnny likes to gamble. One day, his dad gets a new job, so his family has to move to a new city. Johnny's dad thinks, "I'll get a head start on Johnny's gambling." He calls the teacher and says, "My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow, but he likes to gamble, so you'll have to ke...

My dad is like the Michael Jordan of dads.

He has a serious gambling problem.

A priest told me this joke as a kid.

There were 3 men, they were best friends, and they were quite unhealthy. Their names were, Bert, Chester, and Earl.

They were actually really unhealthy and Bert decided that he needed to take charge of him and his friends' health. He decided that they were going to be on a diet together to he...

Someone in my family lost a couple hundred pounds!

It was my mum. She has a gambling problem.

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You Should'nt mess with a gambler:P

Johnnie's father took him to class his first day of school. Johnnie's dad pulled the teacher aside and told her, Johnnie has a bad gambling problem so don't make a bet with him you can't win.

The teacher agreed. When the teacher was passing out the text books Johnny said, teach I'll make a be...

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