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Doggy Style Jokes

Hey, why do people from Philly like it doggy style?

So they can both watch the Cowboys lose

My wife and I did it Doggy Style last night...

I sat up and begged, and she rolled over and played dead.

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Based on statistics, the most used sexual position among married couples is doggy style

The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.

My wife and I make love doggy style...

I sit up and beg, she lies down and plays dead.

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My girlfriend wanted to try doggy style...

Apparently, slobbering all over her and dragging my ass along the carpet wasn't what she had in mind..

Why do some women prefer doggy style

They hate to see a man have a good time

My girlfriend is mad because I could only last 2 minutes in bed

In my defense it was doggy style so it's more like 14 minutes.

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Had sex with the wife for 30 minutes doggy style

last night. That's about 4 minutes in human time.

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My girlfriend and I only ever have sex in the doggy style position

She said I misunderstood her when she told me she "likes it ruff"

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My boyfriend wants to do doggy style.

He's been on my ass about it all day.

Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives.

"Do you and your wife ever do it doggy style?" asked the one.

"Well, not exactly." His friend replied, "She's more into the trick dog aspect of it."

"Oh, I see, kinky, huh?"

"Well, not exactly. I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead."

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A lady asked me what position I was looking for

I told her I normally like doggy style, but since she was pretty hot, I'd be into it if she wanted to sit on my face while I jerked off. She got pissed off and asked me to leave her office, I don't think that job interview went very well.

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My wife asked if I'd like to try a new sex position

She said it's called "doggy style".

I said "yeah, I can get behind that".

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Two guys sitting at a bar.

Suddenly one begins rattling off : "You know what? Last night I fucked your Mom! "


Other guys says nothing but looks agitated.


" Yeah!" first guy continues. "First I took her doggy style! Then she gave me a blow job, and finally I came up her butt! "


Second ...

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Did you know that gorillas prefer doggy style?

It makes my job as an ape sperm collector a real pain in the ass.

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NSFW Two guys are on a camping trip...

And on the last day, they can't decide on what to do. So one decides he'll go for a lonely walk in the forest, while the other goes to a mountain lake.

When they meet up in the evening, the forest guy is "Hey, how did your day go?"

"Awesome. I went to this mountain lake, and there was...

Q : "Do you the difference between 5 minutess of sodomy and 5 minutes of doggy style ? "

A : "No"
Q : "Do you have 10 minutes ?"

I love it doggy style. But my wife always insists

...that I give her a treat afterwards.

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New sex position.

Have you tried the new sex position? "The Froggy Style."


Much like Doggy style, only you aim an Inch higher.

And watch how high she leaps.

Men shouldn't feel bad if they only last 8 minutes doing it doggy style...

Because that's almost an hour in dog time...

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What do you call the act of turning over in bed to switch from the missionary position to doggy style?

A sexual revolution.

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Can I interview you?

Yes, of course.

Name?

Abdul

Sex?

3-4 times per week.

No, no.. Male/Female?

Yes, male and female. Sometimes Camel.

Holy Cow!

Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general

Isn't that hostile?

Yes, horse style, doggy style, any style
...

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Two men were discussing their favorite sex styles

Man 1: I usually go doggy style or cowgirl. It’s just the easiest for me.

Man 2: Then you never had it in machinists style. You gotta try that it’s the best.

Man 1: What do you do in the machinist style?

Man 2: Screw, nut and bolt.

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The woman went to the doctor and complained that she was suffering from...

...knee pains.

“Do you indulge in any activity that puts a lot of pressure on your knees?”,

asked the doctor.

“Every night, my husband and I have sex on the floor doggy style.”

“I see,” said the doctor. “You know, there are plenty of other sexual positions?”

“Not ...

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Did you know it's a sin to have sex before marriage?

Except if you do it doggy style...as all dogs go to heaven.

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My GF broke up with me over a misunderstanding when we tried a new sexual position

Apparently, her "doggy style" doesn't involve any real dog

Two guys are in a bar, having a beer and discussing different positions. The first one announces, “My favorite position is ‘the rodeo.’”

“How does that one work?” asks his friend.

“Well,” the first one replies, “you get your wife on all four on the bed, then do it to her doggy style. When she really starts enjoying it, you whisper in her ear, 'Your sister likes this position, too.' Then you try and hang on for eight seconds!”

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Favourite Sex Styles

Two cowboys were discussing about their favorite sex styles
Cowboy 1: My Favorite sex style is doggy style.
Cowboy 2: My favorite sex style is rodeo style.
Cowboy 1: Whats that?
Cowboy 2: Well it starts of just like doggy style.....then grasp her tits from behind and tell "this titties ...

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A small boy walks in on his parents having sex...

...he asks his parents what are they doing:
"We're making your sister "
"Do her doggy style, i want a puppy!"

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There's some soldiers in Vietnam.And they've been pinned down in their trench for days. ( Dark Joke )

Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, i'll run into the bushes.When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back."

So they lay down fire, and he runs off into the jungle.

But he's gone for a good half an hou...

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Doctor is examining a young women...

and says:

- Everything seems OK, but I am worried about those bruised knees and elbows.

- Oh, it's because of all the doggy style sex I have.

- Don't you know any other position?

- I do, but my doggy doesn't.

Next time you are with your girl try this new position.

It's called the bucking bronco. It's where you go doggy style then lean over and whisper another girls name in her ear and see how long you can stay on...

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3 guys talking at the bar about sex with their girlfriends.

Guy 1 "my girl loves it doggy style."

Guy 2 "well my old lady loves to do it 69 style."

They look at the 3rd guy. Guy 1 asks "why so quiet?"

Guy 3 seems reluctant and they encourage him.

Guy 2 "hey we told you about our girls so spill the beans"

Guy 3 "well if I ...

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Rodeo Sex

When you’re making love to your girl doggy style and bend over and whisper in her ear, “this is how your sister likes it too”, and try and hold on for 8 seconds.

My wife and I were having some marital issues but we have moved on.

We have been doing it doggy style a lot lately, too much if you ask me. I guess I shouldn’t complain. Her strap on, her rules.

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Little Johnny and his dad.

One night little Johnny wakes up to hear some banging on his bedroom wall and his mom sounding like she was in pain. He jumps out of bed and runs to his parents room, opens the door to find his dad on top of his mom giving her a good seeing too.
Little Johnny is horrified and shouts at his dad,<...

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Long story

So there’s this guy “Big johnny” we would call him, who lives in a small town has a reputation for having a big dick. One woman slept with him and told everyone she knew that it was big. After that got out he was getting swarmed with woman in town trying to go for a ride.

Big Johnny said to m...

I walked in on my parents as a kid...

As a little boy I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed.

The next day my dad tells me "Don't worry son, I wasn't hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister."

So, when I was young I always want...

[OC] I just spent my morning break writing this joke.

Jeff had spent most of his adult life in prison for a string of drug offenses and theft. He is finally being released at 28 years old after a decade in prison.

He approaches his jailhouse lover, Vince, a former English teacher and schoolboy fondler. Vince was a little sad to say goodbye, and...

[NSFW]We should learn three things from dogs.

1. Love
2. Trust
3. Faithfulness


And what we actually learn?
Doggy style

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A man goes to the Doctor with a sex problem.

A man goes to the Doctor and say you have to help me. I wake up in the morning and I bang my wife. I go to work, and my secretary is on my desk, so I have to throw one in her too. I leave for lunch, the bosses wife meets me at my car and gives me a blow job. When I get home from work, the maid is th...

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In the office (x-post from r/German_Humour)

Boss: 'Miss Schmidt, I think you won't see me again for some time.'

Miss Schmidt: 'Why? Are you going on vacation?'

Boss: 'No I'm going to have doggy style sex with you right now.'

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