UPJOKE
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Dib Jokes

Why doesn't Muad'Dib like the Spice Girls?

They remind him too much of his mother.

I'll see myself out.

A child asks why their name is...

A mother and father are going through baby photos with their three children when the first child looks up to his mother and asks...

"Momma, why did you call me Sand?"

And the mother replies, "Well, we named you Sand because when you were born a grain of sand landed on your forehead"...

The wife & I had a child yesterday evening,

I call dibs on the breakfast ribs.

What deodorant does Paul Maud'dib use?

...Old Spice

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

God was talking to one of his angels

God: how many animals do we have left?

Angel: 2

God: and how many legs do we have left?

Angel: 100

Centipede: DIBS!

Snake: Fuck you, asshole

Heard that the government is putting chips in people

I call dibs on Cheddar and Sour Cream

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a young man named Tibbs

Who made all the ladies cry 'Dibs!'
He didn't have money
And wasn't that funny
but his cock was so big it had ribs.

Elephant Jokes

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?

A: It was dead.

Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?

A: It was tied to the first elephant.

Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?

A: It thought it was a game.

Q: Why did the tree fall...

If the Alibaba IPO crashes...

Dibs on the term "Ali-bubble"

An inventor is about to pass, leaving all he has to his only family. His two children.

He was a very altruistic person in life, only using his inventions to help people and not make any profit. His daughter admired this trait and followed this path becoming a tinkerer herself. His son, however, was an opportunist. He would always attempt to make a profit off any of his father's invent...

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