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Crossfit Jokes

The weather reporter at the crossfit gym was often mistaken for a physician.

People thought he was a meaty urologist.

Why did Jesus look so ripped during Crucifixion?

CrossFit

A crossfit enthused, bitcoin investing vegan walks into a bar...

Oh, they already told you about it too?

A crossfiter and a vegan walk in to a bar. Who shuts up first?

The bar.

You meet a vegan pilot that's running for senate that went to Havard and does crossfit. What's the first thing they tell you?

"I use Arch btw"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I once tried to kill a spider with axe bodyspray

but he survived and now wont shut the fuck up about crossfit

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After quarantine I realized I'm really into CROSSFIT

I CROSS my fingers and hope I can FIT my ass in those jeans.

A vegan bitcoin investor who does CrossFit and didn't vote in the 2016 election walks into a bar.

Now everyone's wondering what he's gonna bring up first.

The first rule of crossfit fight club...

Tell everyone about crossfit fight club.

Crossfit died out

The other day n the train:
Girl : *sneezes
me: "Bless You!"
Girl : I Have a Boyfriend

a few rows behind us: "I'm vegan"

Me: "I am still tired from all the CrossFit this morning."

Co-worker: "it's pronounced 'Croissant' and you ate 4 of them."

Pilates > Crossfit.

Just ask Pontius and Jesus.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A vegan, an atheist, and a CrossFit enthusiast walk into a bar.

I only know because they wouldn't shut the fuck up about it.

How can you tell when someone does crossfit?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

On a crucifix…why is Jesus always depicted with well defined abs?

CrossFit

Three doppelgangers are hanging out together. One is Puerto Rican, one is a vegan, and the last one does crossfit. How do you know which is which?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

What's the hardest part about being a Vegan who does Crossfit and owns a Rescue dog?

Deciding which to tell people first.

The origin of CrossFit can be traced all the way back to ancient Rome.

Take Jesus for example, he fit nicely on that cross.

Why is Jesus so buff?

He uses Crossfit

[Easter Joke] Q: What kind of exercise did Jesus do to get such good abs?

A: Crossfit

What is Jesus' favorite workout?

Crossfitting

A Vegan who is also gluten intolerant walks up to you. What is the first thing they say to you?

"I crossfit"

I recently joined a support group for people who peaked in high school.

It's called Crossfit

What's Jesus's favorite sport?

Crossfit

Wanna get a Jesus bod? Ever wonder how the Lord got so ripped?

CrossFit

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw a cockroach on my floor the other day ...

I saw a cockroach on my floor the other day ...

I went to spray Raid on him but accidentally grabbed a can of Axe body spray. Now his name is Chad and he won't shut up about crossfit.

caution: high altitudes under certain conditions can cause a bloody nose

Like on Mt. Shasta I heard a guy saying, "I just wanted to show people that it's possible to do things like hiking and Crossfit on a vegan diet, and besides I needed something to do after I retired at 30 on my Bitcoin investments" so I punched him in the nose.

My sister told me about a christian motivational group that came to her school. She said they were super strong but didn't lift weights.

So I figured they must do crossfit.

Did you hear that Jesus had to quit working out?

Yeah, he did crossfit for so long, it took him three days to recover

How was Jesus Christ so ripped?

You never see Jesus Christ rockin a dad bod. How was it that Jesus Christ kept so toned and shredded?

CrossFit

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