UPJOKE
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Russian Mafia boss Semion Mogilevich, Japanese Yakuza boss Kenichi Shinoda, American Gangster boss Al Capone and Mexican Cartel boss El Chapo Guzman are in a plane.

They have been on a flight for hours and are all bored.

Mogilevich says: "I'm bored, let's see which mafia has the biggest balls" he looks over at one of his henchman and says "Hey I order you to slit your throat." The henchman does exactly as he says and bleeds out in front of them.

M...

Who called El Chapo "Drug lord"

...and not "His Royal Highness"?

Why was El Chapo so popular among academics?

There were many *essays* around him

What do you call El Chapo suffering from seizures?

Narcolepsy

The Mexican drug lord El Chapo has been extradited to the United States...

It's still unclear which cabinet post he'll be appointed to.

I see that El Chapo has been extradited to the U.S.

So we may not get a Mexican wall but I bet we get a tunnel!

El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.

Donald Trump, Kim Jong Un, and El Chapo are on a punctured hot air balloon that's quickly going down.

In order to slow their descent, they decide to throw stuff out of the basket in which they're riding.

El Chapo throws several bricks of cocaine over the side and says, "Don't worry, I've got tons of this stuff back in my country."

Following suit, Kim Jong Un throws over several bottles...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2020 one-ish liners

2020 so far:
-Welp, I guess somebody finally fracked their way through the wrong Native burial site.

-You think 7 years bad luck for breaking a mirror is bad? You should see what happens when you let polar ice caps melt.

-Nobody’s trying to keep the Jews as slaves again are they? ‘...

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