UPJOKE
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Cable Tv Jokes

The Elder Gods don't pay for cable TV, HBO, or FiOS...

They have Cth-Hulu

Service?

I became confused when I heard the word"Service" used with these agencies:
Internal Revenue 'Service'
Postal 'Service'
Telephone 'Service'
Cable TV 'Service'
Civil 'Service'
State, City, County & Public 'Service'
Customer 'Service'
This is not what I thoug...

A businessman walks up to a homeless man.

The businessman says, "Why don't you get a job so that you can live comfortably like me? I have cable TV, internet access, and even a gym membership. I work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week so that I can pay for all my expenses and I'm pretty happy with my life."

The homeless man says, "I can't f...

Life support issues

Last night I was in the living room, talking to my wife about life. In-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying. I told her : 'Never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect all the co...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Google buys local Pizzeria

“Hello! Is this Gordon's Pizza?”

“No sir, it's Google Pizza – we bought Gordon’s Pizza last month. Do you want your usual, sir?”

“My usual? You know me?”

“According to our caller ID data, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with cheese, sausage, peppero...

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