UPJOKE
boneassaultfallinghuman nosenose bleedfacial fracturesseptal hematomareductionswellingbruisingplain x-raypain medicationsyncopenosebleedphysical trauma

Broken Nose Jokes

Dog paws smell like Fritos. What to horse hooves smell like?

A broken nose.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a Jew with an erection get when he walks into a wall?

A broken nose, i will sit in the corner now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Black eye and a broken nose

How do you give a blonde a black eye and a broken nose without touching her?


Wave a dick under a glass table.

I met Stephen Hawking after he went on his first date,

he came in with a broken nose, smashed glasses and a dislocated hip...


She stood him up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys meet, and one has a black eye...

"What happened?" said the first.

"I was in church last Sunday and when we all got up to receive blessings I saw that the woman standing in front of me had her dress tucked between her butt cheeks. My first reaction was to reach out and pull it out. She turned around and punched me right in th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A day in the ER

Sean Bean's wife brings her husband into the Emergency department with a broken nose and a bruised shoulder. During triage the nurse asks how the Sean sustained the injuries. After a nudge from his wife, he sullenly replies "I was looking over my shoulder and walked into a door." The nurse wonders h...

the stutterer

So a guy with a stutter wants to ask his girlfriend to marry him. However, every time he tries, he gets nervous and stutters so badly he can barely get a word out. So he goes to a friend at work and asks for advice.

The friend says, "Here's what you do. Instead of coming right out and asking ...

Morning Love Making

Tyrone asked his work buddy, Robert, one morning, "Man, why you always so damn happy when you come to work everyday?" Robert replied, "That's because I make love to my wife every morning before work."

Amazed, Tyrone asked him how he gets his wife to make love to him every morning. "That's ea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Vacation in the alps

This is a translation/version of a joke from a Swedish movie. I take no credit in its creation.
A Swedish family of four is on vacation in the Austrian alps. The mother is in a gift-shop when her daughter bursts in.
>- Mom! Mom! Dad's in the hospital with a broken arm, a cracked rib and a b...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Since translated jokes are becoming a thing now, I will(attempt) to translate a Turkish joke...

One day Temel goes to the local caffe with his friends. While playing games and drinking tea a Japanese dude walks in and says "Does anyone in here got the balls to beat me ?". After this Temel gets up and says "I do", then they both head outside. 5 minutes later Temel comes back with a broken nose ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.