Once your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
02. *ANTHONY'S LAW OF THE WORKSHOP*
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
03. *KOVAC'S CONUNDRUM*
When u dial a wrong numbe...
My coach, Nate O'Brien, asked if I knew his initials the other day.
Do you know what it is?
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Toast to your good life
Paddy O'Brien was at the pub and hoisted his beer saying, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life inbetween the legs of me wife!”
Everyone cheered and he took home the top prize for the best toast of the night.
In bed later that night, he says to his wife, “Mary, I won the prize for t...
Murphy and O'Brien calculate the depth of a well
Murphy and O'Brien go out into the woods, they come a clearing and see an abandoned well. Murphy said 'I wonder how deep that well is?' O'Brien said, 'There's one way we could figure it out'. Murphy says, 'What's that?' O'Brien says, 'We drop something down it, we time how long it takes to hit the...
father O'Brien goes to the doctor as he isn't feeling well...
The doctor gives him a full physical. The priest is showing all the signs of too much stress, high blood pressure, etc. The doctor suggests that the priest learn to calm down - maybe take a drink every so often. The priest interrupts him, "No - Mrs Brown who minds the Rectory won't have it! She ...
Father O’Brien was driving home after lunch when a policeman pulled him over ...
Father O’Brien was driving home after lunch when a policeman pulled him over. “What have you been drinking?” asked the cop. “Only water,” replied the priest. “Then what’s that next to you?” said the policeman, pointing to the half-empty bottle of pinot noir in the passenger seat.
A Michael Sam joke
After being drafted by the St. Louis Rams, Michael Sam celebrated by kissing his boyfriend. This is historic because it’s the first time anyone has celebrated being drafted by the St. Louis Rams. - Conan O'brien
A frog walks into a bank and approaches the teller
He sees from her nametag that the woman working at the counter is named 'Patricia Wack'.
"Hello Patricia." the frog says politely. "I'm here today because I'd like to borrow $200,000"
Patricia does a double-take, and looks at the frog incredulously.
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Two Irishmen meet at a pub.
They start talking about their lives, when one thinks the other one looks familiar.
"What city were you born in?" he asked.
"Dublin," said the other.
"Same here, let's drink a toast to Dublin."
When they've finished their drinks, they carry on with the questions. Dublin w...
An Irish boys confession
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose Woman."
The Priest asks, "Is that you, little Timmy Shaughnessy?" "Yes, Father, it is. "
"And, who was the woman you were with," asked the Priest. "
"I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputatio...
An American on holiday wished to tour rural Ireland.
While in a pub he witnessed an old man at a table by a window weeping quietly with his pint untouched. Moved by the sight of the old man the American approached him and asked if he may sit with him. Without taking his gaze away from the window the old man absently gestures for him to have a seat. Th...
Another Irish Joke
Two men are sitting at a bar in New York. Bartender walks up and says "What will ya have?" At the same time the two men say "A pint of Guinness." They look at each other and one says "You look familiar, are you from Ireland?" The man replies "Yes, Yes I am, from Dublin actually." The other man repli...