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All That Jokes

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Xi Jinping was on his balcony during the early morning, admiring all that Bejing has become

He inhaled a sweet breath of fresh Bejing air and looked East to see the sun smiling down.

"Hello, Sun", said Xi Jinping.

The sun replied "Hello Glorious Leader, the architect of a grand Communist Utopia. Best wishes leading your already prosperous nation."

Xi Jinping, despite h...

I didn't think I was all that overweight.

But then I was invited to a wedding as my girlfriend's +2

Husband: Honey, I invited a friend home for dinner. Wife: What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, all the dishes are dirty, and I can't cook meal. Husband: I know all that. Wife: Then why did you invite the friend?

Husband: Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.

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I can't believe they're still together after all that shit!

Looks like my ass cheeks are really inseparable.

My local priest keeps scolding me for all my sinning, Jesus died for all our sins, all that stuff.

I am just trying to be helpful. If no one sins, he died for nothing.

Did you hear about all that corruption in the blind charities?

No matter how much you donate, *those kids will never see a dime.*

I don't think the new AI is all that great.

I asked ChatGPT to do my taxes in the style of Ernest Hemingway.
And it replied, "For Free: Four Quarterly Tax Payment Vouchers, never used."

That is really not helpful, at all.

Living with a tumor isn't all that bad

It sucks at first, but it'll grow on you

Men can’t be all that bad...

...I mean what else will female comedians talk about?

With all that's going on, I told my dad that finishing my degree in astrophysics may not be the kind of science the world needs right now.

He looked away from the TV long enough to say, "Black holes matter."

Sigh... "Yeah, Dad. They are."

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Communists and Trump supporters really aren't all that different...

They both want a world with no class.

My friend wanted to know how I got all that karma

I simply said "a piece of cake"

"Sorry about all that ice I spilled in your kitchen earlier", my friend said.

I told him, "Don't worry about it, it's all water under the fridge now".

Did you hear about the guy who stole all that hand sanitizer?

They couldn't prosecute, his hands were clean.

I know I've never been all that attractive

But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague

She's all that

Guy: Good morning, pretty lady.

Girl: Tell me something i don't know

Guy: Your apartment rent price just went up

The NSA isn't all that bad

It's the only part of the American government that listens to its citizens!

Getting all that clay off you would be annoying

If you were a harry potter.

Living with your drug dealer isn't all that bad

It has its percs.

I’ve noticed a disturbing recent trend of people suggesting that we “eat the rich” and I’d like to remind you all that the rich are people too.

People with lovely soft skin that would make excellent TP substitute, so don’t forget to peel them first!

I shouldn't have eaten all that alphabet soup.

Now I'm going to have a massive vowel movement.

Did I tell y’all that music was coming out of my printer?

The papers were jamming.

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Hitler wasn't all that bad.

At least he treated all Jews equally...

"All that I have is yours."

Said the kleptomaniac.

9 months isn't all that long

It only feels like a maternity

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[NSFW]Anal isn’t all that great..

In fact, sometimes it’s shitty.

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the "accident of evolution" had created.

As he walked alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to see a seven-foot tall grizzly bear charging right at him! He ran back up the path, with the bear close behind. His heart was pumping frantically as he tried to run faster. he looked over his shoulder as the ...

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Yeah sex is great and all that...

But chloroform gets expensive after a week or two

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