17 Years Jokes - 28 Hilarious 17 Years Jokes

I need help with a 17 year old joke about Jello and Communism

So my friend and I started this game 17 years ago where you have to come up with a jello (we altered the rules to allow *some* pastries) that fit a communist theme.

Everytime we come up with a new one we swear there are none left. I know he cheats, cos I cheat too. My sister came up with Ban...

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I just read the average age to lose your virginity is 17 years old.

I’m finally above average for something.

How do Cicadas know to wake up every 17 years?

They have Cicadian rhythm.

After living in my household for 17 years...

...I realized orphans would be better off without a home.

My wife and I were very happy for about 17 years......

Then we met

17 years ago, on 20 Dec 1999, a Portuguese farmer was reading the newspaper before tending to his fields and work

His wife walks in the door and quickly glances at the newspaper. "Honey," she says, "We lost one of our animals."

The farmer says nothing.

She asks him, "Where's Macau?"

Me and dad went outside to play hide and seek

It's been 17 years and I still can't find him.

Dear Helpline.

I am 17 years old and pregnant with my new boyfriend,

who is 20 years older than me, he is married with 3 kids.

He is a drug dealer, carries a gun and is just out of prison.

How do I tell my parents he supports Manchester United.??

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Me and Leroy

A old southern,slow-talking' truck driver answers an ad in the paper for an OTR position. He goes into meet with the supervisor. The supervisor knows they need drivers bad, so he cuts off the entire interview and says:

Supervisor: "Look, if you can pass your certification test, the job is you...

What’s the difference between 9/11 and a cow.

You can’t milk a cow for 17 years

If my house and the gas station are 1 mile apart

Why has it taken my dad 17 years to get smokes?

A Religious Woman Get Married at 17

She's married to her husband for 17 years, has 13 children with him.

He passes away, she marries again. This time, she and her husband are married for 23 years, and have 11 kids before he passes to the other side.

One year later she gets called to Heaven.

At her funeral, the Pri...

My dad likes to play tag.

I'm "it" and haven't been able to find him to tag him for 17 years.

He's an awesome guy and I admire his commitment.

Honey I'm not allowed back at work anymore...

Wife: why?

Man: I got fired for sleeping with the boss' wife.

Wife: Are you joking? His wife has been dead for 17 years.

Man: I'm also not allowed back at the cemetery.

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A young woman is ready for her first mission in the US Navy.

She sits down across the Lieutenant's desk, ready to be assigned. "You will be serving on the USS Trojan," the Lieutenant says, "A state-of-the-art Submarine erected in 2003, and has never been in the water."

"Never been in the water? Even after 17 years?" She asks, the Lieutenant nods.
...

Two guys are waiting in the unemployment line.

Two guys waiting in the unemployment line worked side by side in the factory for 17 years before it closed down.

First guy up to the window doesn’t speak good English.

The Clerk asks, “What was your occupation?”

Man: “Dieselfitter”

Clerk: (looks in book) “ok that’s $795...

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I've lost my Husband due to long-term illness...

I went blind 17 years ago, and the bugger still thinks it's funny to hide from me!

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Healed!

A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that the poor guy has tried practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. "Listen," says the doc, "I have migraines, too and the advic...

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An English couple have a child

After the birth, medical tests reveal that the child is normal, apart from the fact that it is German. This, however, should not be a problem. There is nothing to worry about. As the child grows older, it dresses in lederhosen and has a pudding bowl haircut, but all its basic functions develop norma...

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I suffer from delayed ejaculation.

It's been 17 years now.

They say life begins at 40.

I've been 39 for 17 years now.

When is a door not a door?

When it is ajar.

Edit (back story): the origin of this joke came from a road trip back when I was in highschool (about 17 years ago). My buddy left the car door open and the dash displayed "the door is ajar". He thought it was funny, since we're use to seeing the "door open" icon and woul...

Cigarettes are dangerous

My dad went out for some 17 years ago and he never came back.

At the watering hole, an elephant suddenly picked up a tortoise and flung it as far away as he could.

A lion asked, "Why'd you do that?" The elephant said, "That's the same one that bit me on the trunk 17 years ago last week." The lion said, "Wow. Amazing memory." The elephant said, "Sure. Turtle recall."

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A young punk with a rainbow colored mohawk says to an old man who’s staring at him: “what’s the matter old man, haven’t you ever done anything crazy in your life?”

The old man responds: “I have, actually. 17 years ago I got stupid drunk and fucked a parrot. I was just wondering if you’re my son”

love

i have been in love with the same woman for 17 years now....if my wife ever finds that out she will kill me!

3 dogs are in a vet's office

3 dogs are sitting in the waiting room of a vet's office. One is a Poodle, one is a Schnauzer and the other is a Great Dane. The Poodle turns to the Schnauzer and asks, "Why are you here?" The Schnauzer responds, "I'm 17 years old. I don't see or hear very well. I've been having accidents in the hou...

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It's a bitch

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for his young secretary. His new girlfriend demanded to live in the couple's multimillion dollar home. He gave his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out.

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the se...

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