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The Black Hole Jokes

What did the black hole say after it swallowed an asteroid?

"It was good, but I wish it been a little meteor."

I went to the Black Hole Nightclub.

It was really boring but the potential was infinite.

What did the black holes say when they collided?

Nothing, they just waved.

(Sorry)

What did the black hole say to the photon passing through its galactic backyard?

“Get bent.”

I see the black hole all over Reddit today...

It’s the only one without a NSFW tag.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Black Hole is getting too much attention...

Uranus is missing out...

How did the black hole lose so much weight?

It's simple, he ate light!

We need more jokes about the black hole

Said no one ever

A black hole walks into a bar

A black hole walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender asks if it would like food with that.

The black hole says, "No thanks, I'm a light eater."

Why did the black hole stop uploading to his YouTube channel

He was void of ideas

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't get the big deal about the black hole picture.

I've been seeing them on Pornhub for years now!

The new image shows the black hole having bright ring formed as photons from light gets drawn in the intense gravity around a black hole that is 6.5 billion times more massive than the Sun…

..but it still doesn't suck more than your Mom.

They finally released the first picture of the black hole the other day.

I found the story really sucks you in and helps you grasp the gravity of the situation.

There's a petition going around to name the black hole after Chris Cornell from Soundgarden

There gonna call it the cornhole

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the black hole say to the Catholic priest?

"I'm sorry, father. I'm rather critical of mass."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think it's just deplorable all the sexist people who want to undermine Katherine Bouman's role in the black hole photo.

we all know with NASA's budget they could of never afforded a man.

What do the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?

They both circle the black hole looking for cling-ons

I went to a space museum today but was a bit disappointed...

It was completely empty! Well, except for the black hole on display, but it sucked.

A fisherman catches a magic newt in his net

The newt is startled at first but he looks around and sees that the net is actually rather large. Huge in fact, it seems to cover the entire pond! Realising that this isn't really a problem after all, he continues about his usual magic newt daily business. He swims around for a bit, visiting all of ...

An astronaut who travelled to the edge of the universe noticed an anomalous reading...

...his shuttle readings came back to inform him there was a flat solid matter extending from his location to the universe's horizon, like a path.

He approached cautiously but a black hole suddenly formed behind the ship. The spacecraft went haywire, lights blinking, alarms blaring and he bare...

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