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Studi Jokes

Studies show that atheists are more likely to own cats than Christians.

Because owning Christians isn't legal, obviously.

I have a degree in men's studies.

It's called "world history".

#TRUMP 2016! YOU CAN'T STUMP THE TRUMP!

Studies say most stabbings are committed by someone close to the victim.

Within arm's length, to be specific.

Accordion to scientific studies, 90% ..

of people do not realise I replaced the beginning of this joke with a musical instrument.

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Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft.

The study took two years and cost over 1.2 million pounds. It concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.

After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. The...

The son of a rich Saudi sheikh arrives in Germany for his University studies.

He soon writes home to his father. "Dear Dad, Berlin is wonderful, the people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad I am a little ashamed to be riding to class every day in my 24k gold Ferrari 599GTB when my professors, friends and many fellow students all travel by train. Your son, Ahmed"
...

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Studies suggest when it comes to dealing with stress, masturbation is twice as effective as sex

So one in the hand really is worth two in the bush.

Studies have shown that smoking weed causes short term memory loss.

Next thing you know they'll be saying smoking weed causes short term memory loss.

Not a joke but a real incident that happened to an indian acquaintance of mine when he moved to Australia for higher studies..

So he comes out of the airport and gets into the cab.

The Aussie cab driver asked where he is from ?

He replied 'India '.

The cab driver asked ' So did you come to die?'

He froze as it was the times when there were racial attacks by white Aussies on people of indian des...

What do you call a black guy who studies rocks?

a geologist, you racist!

Recent studies have shown that 67% of women have used vibrators

The other 33% have brand new ones

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Studies show that 98.9% of men masturbate

The rest don't have arms.

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The latest scientific study on polar bears was just published

The study noted that loss of habitat in the north pole has caused some bears to migrate to the south pole, and also a severe increase in the number of manic/depressive symptoms in the bears studied. Due to lowering numbers, many bears were expressing sexual behaviors towards other bears of both sex...

What do you call a person who studies the color blue?

A cyantologist.

My friend studies mushrooms

So I told him he's a fun guy.

He says that's the moldest joke in the book.

I said it's a classic, one you myght call OG.

"Amanita explanation on that one," he says.

"Nevermind," I say, "s'porely written anyway."

Studies show that 75 percent of blondes have lower-than-average intelligence.

Luckily, I’m a blonde and I’m in the remaining 35%

What's the singular of "Women's Studies?"

Study abroad.

Studies show "not jokes" are coming back and are likely to be funnier than ever.

Not.

The Institute of Incomplete Studies (ISS)

determined that 7 out of 10 people

My friend who studies history just reformatted his online notes in time for his finals

Too bad though, war crimes are now justified

Studies find if a woman has a glass of wine a day increases the chances of a stroke.

If you let her have more she might suck it too.

2 college friends skip studying for Chemistry final to party

Two guys were taking Chemistry at the University of Mississippi. They did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, such that going into the final they had a solid "A". These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the ...

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A girl is sleeping in her religious studies class...

The teacher asks the class, 'According to the Bible, who created man?'. The boy sitting next to the sleeping girl is bored and wet willies the girl. She wakes up and screams, 'OH GOD!'. The teacher replies, 'Correct!' The girl falls asleep again.

Next, the teacher asks the class, 'Who is th...

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Husband: Babe, studies show that having sex is the same as running 10 kilometres

Wife: Bullshit, who runs 10 kilometres in 30 seconds?

Studies show one out of every 3 people is a murderer.

It’s not me, it’s not you… oh, what about that guy behind you?

Studies have shown that American youth has already started using the metric system

Nowadays you can even find students from various schools in America using 9mm

Don't make a decision before you have studied all its aspects ! Don't make a decision when you are angry !

An iron company manager, while touring the company noticed a young man leaning against the wall and doing nothing.

He approached him and said softly, "How much is your salary?"

The young man was calm and surprised by the personal question.

He answered, "2500 dollars a month, sir...

Studies show that women who carry a little extra weight live longer

than the men who mention it.

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I hate the new homosexual studies class I'm taking this year...

It only has oral tests.

Studies show that one out of every six friends have a gambling addiction

My money is on Peter

Studies show that a lot of women turn into good drivers

So If you're a good driver, look out for women turning

Studies show that cows produce more milk...

when the farmer talks to them.

It's a case of "in one ear, and out the udder".

Scientists recently have been doing some new studies with the mummy of Egypt's famous boy king.

With the aid of highly advanced mri scans they were able to ascertain he suffered from a major gastro intestinal disorder. Apparently he was lactose intolerant. So it turns out, me and the Egyptian kid got a toot in common

I studied the trends of bike sales

They were cyclical

My daughter is in her room with two of her male classmates for group studies.

I guess they are acing the Q and A as I can hear her shout "Yes ..yes" for quite a long time..

What do you call a Christian who studies fossils?

An Episcopaleontologist.

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