Stray Dog Jokes

So the dog walked into the local paper to place an advert in the social column. "I'm lonely" advised the dog "please place an ad that reads: *Woof woof woof. Woof woof. Woof woof woof woof woof woof. Woof. Woof*."

The sales consultant writes it all down before offering "I'll let you in on a s... read more

And a stray dog comes along and sits down next to them. Then the dog starts licking its balls.

The men watch for a moment and one says "Gosh, I wish I could do that."

The other says "Well, you'd better pet him a little first."

I think it's owner was a blacksmith, because as soon as I brought the thing home it made a bolt for the door.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead decide to rob a bank. Everything goes well-they have their masks on, the bank hands over the money-awesome.

Exiting the bank, they hear sirens and see several cop cars round the corner, so they dash into a small alleyway.

The cops are quick though, a... read more

He grips his blade and calls out, "friend or pho?"

Laika million to one

Well she sucked at naming children, so she decided to just number them in birth order. One, Two, Three, etc. Well, one day, her and all of her children were in a tragic plane accident and the only one who survived was 90. After years of grief and growing, 90 got married and had some kids of her own.... read more

her parents couldn't think of a name for her so they just named her "ninety". eventually, ninety had children of her own. the kids were cheerful and playful. one day they asked their mother for a dog, which ninety replied, "no dogs!". saddened, the children simply resumed playing.

then one da... read more

She lacked the creativity to name all of them so she just names them 1-100. 99 of the kids die. The only survivor is the kid named 90. 90 grows up and has kids of her own. One day, the kids find a stray dog. 90 did not want them to keep it. The kids decide to keep the dog secretly. They name the dog... read more

when they see a stray dog licking its crotch.

The one boy says, “Man, I really wish I could do that.”

His friend responds, “I don’t know, you’d better pet him and see if he’s friendly, first.”

...but when I do it with a kid everyone just calls me a priest?

There was a woman with a hundred children. She lacked the creativity to name all of them, so she just named them 1 through 100.

Eventually, through a series of misfortunes, 99 of the children died. Only the one named 90 survived. 90 grew up healthy, thankfully. She found a man and fell in lo... read more

A butcher is serving his customers as usual when a stray dog comes in and starts barking.

The butcher is about to shoo him away when one customer says, "give him few lamb chops". The butcher agrees and puts some in front of the dog.

The dog eats everything in front of him but is still ... read more

One winter day, a guy was walking down the street when he saw a mangy old dog lying in the middle of the sidewalk. It was covered in flies and seemed to be barely alive. Rather than try to help it, the guy gave it a sharp kick and laughed as it limped away.

Without warning, the guy became a s... read more

He named his kids numbers in the order they were born (the first child was 1, second child 2 and so on)

After he had 100 kids , a fire burned his house down leaving only one child. 90

90 grew up and had his own kids that weren’t creative and when they saw a stray dog , they took him in... read more

She sadly did not have creativity to name all of them unique names so she named each one a number from 1-100. One of them was named "One", and the next was named "Two" and so on all the way to one hundred. But in a tragic accident, 99 of them died. The only one who survived was Ninety.

Ninet... read more

About a block from their house, the pair spot a pair of stray dogs humping furiously in an empty lot.

"Ewww! Daddy, what are they doing?!?!"

"Um...well, Son. They're making puppies...."

The boy watched the dogs as they passed by, totally confused by what he was seeing.

La... read more

A man is driving down a road, when suddenly, he notices that his gas tank is running dangerously low. He pulls over at the next gas station he sees, and while his gas is being refilled, goes into the station to get a drink.

He picks out a drink, and as he is buying it, notices a sign that re... read more

They decided to name each of them by numbers (1, 2, 3, 4).

Many years later, they grew up and went on to lead their own lives. Some ended up finding love and/or having children, like 90, who had 3 kids.

The 3 kids wanted to have a pet, but their mother hated pets, so they decided to se... read more

A young woman is attacked by what apppears to be a rabid stray dog. Before the dog can injure her further, a young man steps in and starts fighting with the dog - Unfortunately though he is forced to kill it. Shortly after, a police officer who has been watching the scene rushes over.


"So... read more

The bear decided to walk down the street and he stumbled across an alley where he heard some weird sounds. Being a teddy bear, it figured no one would care if it saw them as long as it acted natural. So it went to see what was happening.

The bear noticed an infamous criminal beating a man to... read more

(Translated into English) There was once a poor village that was behind the times. They lacked many modern facilities including electricity. They had as many stray dogs as people. Then one day the electrical utility company announced that they will be bringing electricity and poles into the village.... read more

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.



There was a Nova Scotian, a Prince Edward Islander and a Newfie who were running from the cops. So they go down this side street and see three potato sacks and decide to hide in them. The police come along and think there's something suspicious so... read more

(I don't know why my friends like this one so much, feel free to tell them it's awful and confirm my opinion.)

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead escape the women's prison late one night. With the police hot on their heels, they decide to hide in an abandoned factory. Splitting up, they all ... read more

Ted was the landlord of the Nag's Head pub. Every night, the same guys would turn up, have a few pints of beer, share a conversation and the occasional game of darts or dominoes. At 8pm every night, Ted would receive a visit from one of his other regulars - Champ, a stray dog who always came for a b... read more