There once was a man named Ulf, and he was the meanest Viking in all the land.
Time after time he proved his temperament, and so obnoxious was he that the world knew him as Rude Ulf.
Despite his prowess, the village soon found him unbearable, and even his mother had not a kind thing to say.
Amidst pleas and cries for Rude Ulf’s exile, the chief gave him an ultima...
Have you guys seen that peloton commercial where the wife is super stoked to get an exercise bike for Christmas?
Also, does anybody have a couch I could crash on for a few days?
I'm stoked to have my final college test of the semester tomorrow!
Wish me merry Xams!
Super stoked for the new Cosby Show spin-off...
Pudding it in Cosby.
How do you stoke a fire?
Tell it "nice kickflip." It'll get so stoked bro.
(OC) A buddy and I flew up to Alaska to do some ice fishing.
Neither of us had ever been and we were both pretty excited, but when we got there my friend was just too freaked out about falling through the ice and freezing to death to go. Well, I was still super stoked so I ended up calling a local tourist company and I hired a couple of locals to take me out...
(From my 8 y/o) What goes “Oooooooooooooooo”
A cow with no lips!
Edit: Silver! Thanks, my son will be stoked! After I explain to him what that even is 🤣
And Gold! You guys rock, he’ll love it!
Platinum!?! Wow 👌🏼💪🏼
A little boy's friend tells him:
"If you say to adults 'I know about it all', they'll give you anything." So of course he goes home and says to his dad: "I know about it all". The dad hands him 100 bucks and tells him "but don't tell mommy". The kid, stoked, goes to his mom and says: "I know about it all". The mom hands him 2...
What do you call an excited fireplace?
Mother Daughter Threesome
My friend Ethan recently met a beautiful woman at a bar. Ethan is 22. She’s 57. He’s never been “with a much older woman, but he thinks hey, why not, she’s hot. They drink and flirt all night. Suddenly she asks Ethan if he’s ever had a mother and daughter threesome. He says no.
A joke from my scout troop a while back.
Jim had always wanted to run a train. It was his dream since he was a child. His mind was set and no other career moved him the way a train had. He did well in school, and when he was accepted to the local Railway school, he was stoked.
4 years later, he had his first job of running the train...
Where does a cowboy go to find love?
(C) I tell jokes at work & honestly made this one up, I'm pretty stoked, please share if you liked it!)
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A bear and a rabbit are walking through the forest..
A bear and a rabbit are walking through the forest and they find a genie's magic lamp. Stoked on life, they pick up the lamp and rub it. Out comes the, who bellows "you may have three wishes each." The bear makes the first wish. "Guys, ive got it. I wish that every bear in this forest was female,...
Man find's a genie
The genie tells him that he will be granted three wishes, but there is a catch. Anything that he gets from these three wishes, his ex-wife is given double.
The man is stoked that he can now get anything he wants, but pretty upset that his ex-wife will get twice as much as he does. He proceeds...
Mom and daughter action
A guy saw a lady at a bar. She was definitely attractive, but he could tell she was a little older, orthopedic shoes, wrinkles creeping up around the mouth and eyes. But after a few drinks these things faded away and he went and talked to her.
After a few drinks together they decided to head ...
The Sheikh trying to be smart.
Naseeruddin Shah was one of the few courtiers that the Sheikh had for actual advice rather than to please his father's acquaintances.
As such, he tested Naseeruddin a lot when it came to matters of patience and understanding, hoping to know where he put the line between displeasing the H...
My buddy told me he fantasizes about being made of bricks and having a chimney.
He'd really be stoked if he was a fireplace.
Best hunting trip ever
Leroy, Clem and Earl were spending a long weekend deer hunting. They got far out into the woods and had a disagreement about where they would hunt. Finally Leroy tells Clem and Earl, "Well I got a cabin over yonder on that ridge so why don't you guys go where you want, I'll stay around my cabin and ...