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Sleep At Night Jokes

I just found out there's an actual clinical name for when you can't sleep at night and just eat instead

It's called insomnomnomnomia

Why can't stone workers sleep at night?

They spend all day knapping.

How do mansplainers sleep at night?

Well, actually.

Thieves broke into my shop and stole 15 cases of Red Bull

I don't know how these people sleep at night

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I found a great medicine to help me sleep at night with a sunburn

Viagra.

It dosnt help with the sunburn but it keeps the sheets off my legs.

It’s hard to sleep at night, some girl I met kept pounding on my door.

But there’s no way I’m letting her out.

At first I wondered.. How on earth does Hillary Clinton sleep at night?

Then I realised - First she *lies* on one side, then she *lies* on the other.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in a porno cinema the other night.

I hadn’t been there five minutes when some guy started yelling at me: “Oh, you’re a beast, you’re despicable!”

So I said to him: “Listen mate, we’re all here together, you’re just as despicable as I am.” But then other people started chipping in, shouting stuff like “How do you sleep at night...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I heard they had started giving all the old guys in the nursing home Viagra right before they go to sleep at night.

Its to prevent them from rolling out bed in the middle of the night.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"You are my best friend and you have been fucking my wife when I was on vacation! How do you sleep at night?"

"With your wife."

Little Benny was very sick, and the doctors had given up hope.

As a last present, his parents brought him to Arabia on a trip. While they were walking through a market, little Benny bought a lamp from a vendor.

When he arrived home, he rubbed the lamp to clean it, and, to his surprise, a genie popped out in a flash of light.

"What is it that you ...

Grandmother gets a new doctor.

The doctor that had been seeing this 80 year old woman finally retired, at her next checkup her new doctor told her to bring all of her medicines that have been prescribed to her.

As the new doctor was going through them his eyes grew wide as he realized this grandmother had a prescription fo...

Every year we spend more on coffee than we do on educating our children

how do we sleep at night?

Sleeping Man

Man: I cannot sleep at night, I keep seeing donkeys playing football.

Doctor: I am giving you some medicine, start using it tonight.

Man: Can I start tomorrow?

Doctor: Why tomorrow?

Man: Tonight is the finals.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Elder man can't sleep

An elder at the pharmacist:

"Doctor, I haven't been able to sleep at night for 2 days! Can you give me something?"

The pharmacist:

"Try these sleeping pill suppositories, they are very effective!"

The day after:

"Doctor, do you have anything less powerful?

T...

Sleeping Baby

A worried new mother went to the psychiatrist. "Doctor," she said, "Since I had the baby I can't sleep at night. When I'm in the next room, I have this dreadful fear that I won't hear the baby if he falls out of the crib at night. What should I do?"

"Easy," said the doctor. "Just take the car...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to the doctor with severe sunburn

He’s asks the doctor, “Is theirs anything you can do to help relieve the pain as it is so bad I can barely sleep at night.”
The doctor prescribes the man a weeks supply of viagra.
“How will this ease the pain of my sunburn?!” The man asks before the doctor replies “It won’t but it will keep th...

A couple of guys stole hundreds of cans of Red Bull from our neighborhood store.

I don’t know how they can sleep at night.

Insomniacs are sick human beings...

...how do they even sleep at night?

Solution.

If you are struggling to sleep at night because of hot and humid weather.

I have a solution.

Get into bed, lay on your side and get as close to the edge of the bed as possible.

You will soon drop off.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman was in bed with her husband.

Every night, the husband farts in his sleep. His farts were so loud and disgusting that, most nights, she couldn't sleep at night.

One day, she tries to tell him "honey, please stop farting in bed. It's hard to sleep when just as I'm about to get some rest I hear this sudden *POOMPH* from yo...

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