Sky Diving Jokes - 21 Hilarious Sky Diving Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's total bullshit that you need a parachute to go sky diving.

You need a parachute if you plan to sky dive twice.

Guy is nervous about sky diving.

The diving instructor tells him "When you hit altitude just pull the chute cord and you'll be fine."

Guy asks, "What if that doesn't work?"

Instructor says, "Then pull the reserve."

Guy, still nervous, "okay but what if that doesn't work"

"OK, listen, if that fails just l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you know why women wear tampons when they go sky diving?

So they don't whistle on the way down.

I just met this really attractive sky diving instructor.

You could say I fell for him.

I've never been sky diving....

But, I've zoomed in on Google Earth really fast.

What’s the hardest thing about sky diving?

The ground.

Did you hear about the guy who vomited while sky diving?

It's all over town.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do blind people hate sky diving

It scares the shit out of their dogs

Sky diving

A sky diver had just pulled his main chute and found it wouldn't open. He quickly tries his reserve chute, still nothing. Now in a panic falling towards the ground he see's a man flying up towards him at an incredible speed. In stunned disbelieve as they pass each other the sky diver screams out "do...

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My wife is going sky diving and I'm truly terrified

The last time something that large hit the ground the fucking dinosaurs died!

Have you heard of the blind girl that went sky diving?

She had a great time but her dog didn’t

Why didn't Helen Keller go sky diving?

It scared the hell out of her Seeing Eye dog.

My wife died in a sky diving accident.

Does anybody want a parachute, used once , never opened. ?

I was telling my friend a joke about sky diving but he gave me constructive criticism on it

It didn’t land very well

Have you ever tried sky diving without a parachute?

It's a once in a lifetime experience

Why do elephants wear blue tennis shoes?

(So they land softer when they're sky diving?) No, because white ones scuff up too easily.

\---

Why shouldn't you go out in the savannah between 4pm and 6pm?
\--That's when the elephants go sky-diving

\---

Why do elephants live in herds?
\---To get the group dis...

If at first you don’t succeed

Sky diving isn’t your sport

My English teacher assigned me 10 stories to go through...

so I went sky diving. I went through 10 stories in 2 seconds!

If you don't get it right the first time...

...skip sky diving.

A kid goes off to the army and comes back home after basic training.

He's having a chat with his dad about his experience, telling him how it went.

"So the first thing they do was have me run 15 miles. It was brutal. I had to have my fatigues on and carry my provisions. The drill sergeant said if we didn't do that we had to run 30 Miles the next day."

"...

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A guy asks a doctor how long he will live

So the doctor, looking at his clipboard and taking notes, begins to ask him a series of questions.

Doc: Do you eat red meat?

Patient: No

Doc: Do you smoke cigarettes, cigars, or a pipe?

Patient: No

Doc: Do you use any illicit drugs?

Patient: No

Doc: D...

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