An elderly couple is in church. The wife says to the husband, “I’ve let out one of those silent farts, what do I do?”

The husband says, “Change the battery in your hearing aid.”

A couple are at the church when the wife whispers into the husband's ear "I just let out a silent fart. What do I do?"

He responds:









"Get your ears checked"

“Silent farts that don’t stink...”

An old woman visits the doctor for a routine check-up.


"Doctor, I have constant gas, but the farts are always silent and they don't stink!"


The doctor prescribes her some pills and sends her on her way.


Two weeks later she returns for a follow-up.


"Doctor...

The Silent Fart

An old couple were sitting in Church and the wife noticed that people were staring at her.

She leaned across to her husband and whispered, "I've just let go a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"

He said, "I think you should get fresh batteries for your hearing aid."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with frequent gas.

Fortunately, the farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 10 times since I've been here, and I bet you didn't even notice!" The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week." The next week the old lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't k...

An old lady turns to her husband in church and says

An old lady turns to her husband in church and says, "I just made a dozen silent farts. What should I do?"

The old man replies, "Get your hearing checked, that's what."

Two old ladies were attending a church service

And about half way through one says:

"I just did a silent fart, what do you think I should do?"

The other woman proceeds to lean over slowly and say:

"Put some new batteries in your bloody hearing aids!"

Scruffy! Get out of there!

A young man nervously went to his girlfriend’s house for dinner and to meet her family. As they were sitting eating, his nerves were getting the better of him and he felt a tremendous build up of gas. Unfortunately, since he was the focus of attention, he just couldn’t find a break in the conversati...

My dad just said this and claims he thought of it himself.

An elderly couple, Ed and Martha go out to dinner together. Martha feels a rumble in her stomach and says to Ed, “Ed, I think I just had a silent fart. What should I do?”

Ed replies, “Well, honey, you could start by turning up your hearing aids.”

A joke my mommy told me :)

Once there was a woman sitting in the doctor's office, complaining of incessant gas. She says to the doctor.

"I've been having silent farts all day. I had one in the harris teeter, one in church and...um, one right now."

The doctor replied, "I think you need to get your hearing check...

An Elderly Couple

An elderly couple Pauline & Frank were recently attending a church service at their retirement village.

About halfway through the service, Pauline took a pen and paper out of her purse, and wrote a note and handed it to Frank.

The note said:" I just let out a silent fart, what do y...

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FIDO!

This guy was dating a woman and they decided to go back to her place. When he arrived he had really bad gas and noticed a dog laid underneath a chair. He thought to himself that if he sat in the chair he could blame his gas problems on the dog. He sat down and let out a little silent fart and that w...

An elderly couple are sitting in a busy church...

The wife shifts in her seat and looks around sheepishly. She leans in to her husband and whispers "I just did a silent fart, I hope nobody notices"
The husband leans closer, puts his lips to her ear and in a louder whisper replies "You need new batteries in your hearing aid!"

A man goes to the doctor to complain about his problem with... ahem, silent emissions...

A man goes to the doctor to complain about his problem with... ahem, silent emissions...

"Doc,' he says, 'I really can't help it, but I've been having this problem with these silent farts for a long time now. In fact, the other day, the wife and I were having dinner with neighbors and qui...

SWEET PERFUME

A high class looking woman sat down next to me on the train. I took in a breath and asked aloud, 'What's that smell?'
She turned to me, looked down her nose and said, 'Chanel, 500 dollars an ounce." She turned away.
About 10 minutes later, I let out a silent fart. She turns to me and asks ,Wh...

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A nervous young man goes to pick up his prom date at her house.

As expected, his date is finishing getting ready upstairs. He sits in the living room waiting for her when her father and the family dog enter the room. The dad sits down across from the boy and looks him over thoughtfully. The young man begins feeling very uneasy, and his stomach starts to churn...

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