My head chef had his 10 year anniversary in work today. I put some salt and pepper on him.
He's a seasoned professional
What do you call a retired military member who has been showered in salt and pepper?
A seasoned veteran.
Before I go on any long journeys, I always put some salt and pepper on my head.
I'm a well-seasoned traveller.
There was once a truck driver eating at a diner.
He was enjoying his meal, when a gang of bikers walked in. They started bullying him, by dumping salt and pepper all over him, spitting in his coffee, and stealing his food. To their surprise, the truck driver did nothing, but pay the bill, and walk out of the diner.
As they are marveling abo...
I’ve got too much thyme on my hands
My hours are only parsley filled. I have anise and a nephew that I babysit, they are gingers, while my hair is salt and pepper. I guess these puns are kinda vanilla, but they’re just going to keep cumin. What’s a superheroes favorite garnish? Capers! If I keep it up you might spray me with mace. A g...
* 1 Elephant * Brown gravy, and lots of it * Salt and pepper to taste * 2 Rabbits (optional)
Cut elephant into small, bite-size pieces.
This should take about 2 months.
Add enough brown gravy to cover,
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A wife was making breakfast for her husband when he ran into the kitchen with an alarmed expression
"TURN 'EM EGGS!! TURN'EM BEFORE THEY BURN!!!".
"GOOD LORD, WE ARE GOING TO NEED MORE BUTTER!!! GET IT! GET IT!!! DAMN THEY ARE GOING TO STICK!!!"
The wife looked at him with a puzzled expression and continued.
"HOLY SHIT! NOT SO MUCH SALT AND PEPPER!!! JUST A BIT!! YOU WILL RUIN...
A Chinese man is making love to his wife...
The man is going for it missionary style, he slides up her body, kisses her softly and whispers in her ear, "Baby, I wanna 69!". Immediately, her face turns from pleasure to confusion and anger, she replies, "You want Salt and Pepper Chicken NOW?"
There was a man named Joe...
Joe had a French fry shop across the street from the local florist. One day, the florists went bankrupt and closed down. Then 2 people moved in, fellow fryers, and started stealing Joe's customers.
Joe was outraged, and thus, led him to go talk to the other fryers. They got so mad at Joe they...