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Quentin Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of my favourite jokes from one of my favourite movies, Desperado. Originally delivered by my favourite director, Quentin Tarantino

This guy comes into a bar, walks up to the bartender. Says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a single, solitary drop." The bartender looks. I mean, we're talking, like, this glass is like a good ten feet away. He says...

Quentin Crisp Quote

“When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?”

Why did Quentin Tarantino get arrested for his foot fetish?

He got off on the wrong foot.

Quentin Tarantino isn't the finished article...

He's the pro-toe-type

Why did Quentin Tarantino regret directing a Ninja Turtles movie?

Because he felt the villains being called "The Foot Clan" was very misleading.

What is Quentin Tarantino most known for?

Feeture Films

Why does Quentin Tarantino refuse to make movies with digital cinematography?

Because he's the reel deal.

Why can't Quentin Tarantino go on an airplane?

Because the pilot mentions "30,000 feet" and he goes absolutely crazy.

The barman says “Why the non-linear structure?”

Quentin Tarantino walks into a bar.

What do you get when you cross an orange with Quentin Tarantino?

Pulp Fiction

Credit to the movie The Starving Games

It’s surprising that Jules and Vince spend so much time talking about the metric system at the beginning of Pulp Fiction

Quentin Tarantino usually only does feet

Quentin Tarantino has said his filmmaking career is over

Because now it's more than thirty years old, Leonardo DiCaprio isn't interested any more.

Will & Quentin

There were two friends named Will and Quentin. Quentin hated his name so he went by the name Q. Both of these kids weren't nerds in any regard, but they were both ridiculed for their abnormalities. Will was 16 years old and still was only 5'2'' (a small height for a young man his age) and Q was hosp...

What should Quentin Tarantino do if he's tested positive for coronavirus?

Tent-in Quarantino.

Where does Quentin Tarantino hide his Easter eggs?

In his movies



Alt. Punchline, Inglorious Baskets. Hoppy Easter yall!

What do Quentin Tarantino movies and bounce houses have in common?

If you want to be in either of them, you have to take off your shoes.

I watched a Quentin Tarantino film the other night. Kill Bill, Volume 1.

Couldn’t hear a thing.

What do you get when you rub two oranges together owned by Quentin Tarantino?

Pulp Friction.

Why can't Quentin Tarantino make a good first impression?

He's always getting off on the wrong foot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little boy is lying in bed, busting to go to the toilet.

So he gets out of bed, runs downstairs into the living room, and finds his mother chatting to a bunch of her friends.

"MUM," the boy yells at the top of his voice, "I GOTTA PISS! I GOTTA PISS!"

Well, needless to say, the mother is mortified at her son's language in front of her guests...

What would you call a Hollywood film director who is isolating from Covid

Quentin Quarantino.

Who should direct the eventual Coronavirus movie where people are barefoot inside their homes?

Quentin Quarantino

Did you hear that the director to Pulp Fiction is making a movie based off of a Belgian comic book where the main character gets deathly ill with an incredibly infectious disease and therefore has to cut off all contact with the outside world?

It's "Quentin Tarantino's *Tintin's Quarantino*".

Preacher Bob liked to coordinate his message with the choir every Sunday...

They met one week and Preacher Bob said, "Brothers and sisters, I'll be preaching this Sunday on the topic of steadfastness in our service to God. What hymn should we sing?"

Miss Bertha piped up, "I Shall Not Be Moved!"

They met the next week and Preacher Bob said, "Brothers and sister...

Three Men are sitting at a bus stop

The first man says, "I served in the U.S. Army for 10 years. I was involved in the Korean War."

The second man says, "Nice. I served in the United States Marine Corps for 8 years. I was involved in the Iraq War."

The third man says, "I was involved in the War on Drugs. I served 15 year...

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