A frog walks into a bank and walks up to the teller. He says, “my name is Kermit Jagger and I’d like to take out a loan.” The teller says, “nice to meet you, I’m Patti, but I have to tell you, we don’t loan money to frogs.” Kermit says, “no it’s ok. I have collateral. Here is this priceless heirloom...
A frog walks into a bank
... and approaches the teller. He can see from her name tag that her name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
Patti stares at the talking frog in disbelief but recovers herself quickly and asks him how much he wants to bo...
A man goes into a restaurant with his pet snake.
He seats himself at a table, and his snake slithers up onto the seat next to him. Soon, a waitress comes to take his order.
The man declares, "I want 25 hamburgers- two for me and 23 for my pet snake here."
The waitress leaves, and 20 minutes later returns with two plates. On the man's...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Poop Patties
What did the fry cook do when he found out they were making the burger patties with feces?
He flipped a shit.
A guy walks into a diner and sees the fry cook, with one arm, making hamburger patties by smashing meat under his armpit...
The guy complains to his waiter that using his armpit to make burger patties is the grossest thing a fry cook could ever do to prepare food.
The waiter responds, “I assure you it’s not. In the morning he makes donuts.”
I was going to grill some burgers later
But I dropped the patties and now we're having ground beef
A frog hopped into a bank...
...dressed in a tiny tuxedo and approached the desk of first loan officer he saw.
"Good afternoon, madam. I am Francis the frog and I'd like to take out a $5000 loan."
The loan officer sat stunned for a moment then shrugged and smiled, "I'm Patti Black and I'll be happy to assist you. ...
A man was tired of working as a burger-flipper at McDonalds.
All day every day he made Big Macs. And in his head he would list off the ingredients; Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickle and onion, on a seasame seed bun.
Over and over: Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickle and onion, on a seasame seed bun.<...
A new bus driver starts his first day of work...
A new bus driver starts his first day of work...
......he kisses his wife goodbye. He’s nervous about the new job and not sure if it’s for him.
He’s assigned his bus, and as he walks up to it, he notices that it has a big promotional for Sesame Street on the side. “Great,” he thinks, ...
Good old #162, the Frog Joke
Patricia Whack, a bank teller, was having an unusual day: a frog had appeared in front of her teller and asked in perfectly elocuted English, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to obtain some credits from your establishment, on consideration of this blue marble elephant as collateral."
Ms. Whack knew immed...
My uncle was in the navy, stationed on an aircraft carrier.
One day during inspection he had a ketchup stain on his shirt. This had the natural punishment of kitchen duty.
That night he reported and there was a big, fat, sweaty man in a wife beater making hamburger patties for dinner the next night. He'd pick up a handful of beef, put it into his arm...
What do you call an Irish man who lives in your back garden?
Patti O'Furniture
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