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Mf Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A handyman needs to fix something in a house while the owner is away. The owner warns him: "I have a huge Rottweiler and a Parrot, the dog is nice but be careful of the bird!"

The handyman shrugs it of and enters the house.
Indeed, there is a huge Rottweiler sitting on the couch, but he behaves friendly.

But from the birdcage, the handyman hears the Parrot: "Hey, asshole!"

Handyman does not react.

Again, "hey, asshole, yes you, useless mf"

H...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump was asked " what is 2+2"??

"I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, 'Sir!, What's 2+2?' And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine. Oh my god, I can't believe it. Ad...

Man comes home early from work on a Thursday and finds his wife in bed with his friend.

He shoots em both dead and ends up in jail. While in jail his best friend comes to visit him and console him. His friend tells him:

"Damn Fred its a wonderful thing you caught this mf in bed with you're wife"

Fred responds "How can you say that man 2 people are dead and im in jail"...

Someone said, if you think 2020 is crazy

Wait till that MF turns 21 and start drinking

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2020 one-ish liners

2020 so far:
-Welp, I guess somebody finally fracked their way through the wrong Native burial site.

-You think 7 years bad luck for breaking a mirror is bad? You should see what happens when you let polar ice caps melt.

-Nobody’s trying to keep the Jews as slaves again are they? ‘...

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