UPJOKE
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Why can’t Snape be the Herbology teacher?

He can’t keep Lillies alive.

Literature professor: "Why can't Severus Snape be a herbology teacher?"

Student A: "Because he can't keep the Lillies alive."

Student B: "Maybe he didn't put them in the right Potter?"

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Little sozzie

One day little sozzie fell asleep in church and the preacher is asking questions and sees little sozzie sleeping.

He walks ove to here and asks “who died for our sins” and the little boy sitting behind her doesn’t want her to get in trouble so he pokes here with a pen Lillie sozzie jumps up a...

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An old man goes fishing by himself....

He has been a widower for the last 15 years and really has not been social since his wife passed. One day he decides to go out fishing early in the morning, so he packs up his canoe and gear and heads out to a local pond. Hours pass and he has not caught a thing, from the other side of the pond he h...

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They're having sex

Little Jhonny and his mama and papa lived in a one bedroom apartment with a balcony. Now with little Johnny being little the parents would send him out into the balcony whenever they wanted to get frisky, to make it seem routine they'd ask him what he saw when he was out. So one Saturday afternoon h...

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A prostitute has a problem...

There once was a very prolific prostitute. She serviced many a John and a Jane over her career.

Her biggest insecurity was always the way her vagina looked. She had rather large pussy lips (labia minora). Occasionally, she would be rejected by a client because of the way her lady bits looked...

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[Long] One of my favorite jokes from BoJack Horseman

Okay so there's this gardener right?
So the amazing thing about this gardener is that he always knows exactly how many bags of mulch he needs for a job, just by looking. Like he gets it right, every time. He's the best.
So one day, he looks at a yard he's working on and he's like... 18 bags. S...

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