A guy walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim librarian,
"Excuse me Miss, day ye harv eni books on suicide?"
To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses, and says,
"Fook off, ye'll no bring it back!"
The only joke I can ever remember.
There's a mental hospital and every weekend the patients are allowed to go home and visit their families if they are able to properly answer a question by the gate steward at the gate. One day, a man approaches the gate steward with a carrot on a piece of string.
"Morning Harvey, are you read...
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