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Gun Shop Jokes

Visit to local gun shop

So I went to stay in the US and started getting used to the American way of life...
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After a few months of staying there, I thought I should have a personal handgun as well.
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Yesterday I got my permit to carry a concealed weapon. 
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So, today I wen...

A man walks into a gun shop.

He looks over the guns until the cashier asks what he wants. The man couldn't decide so the cashier asked, "what are you shooting?" The man said "cans". The cashier asked, "what kind of cans?" The man took a pause, than finally said "oh you know, Americans, Mexicans, Africans."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bet on a bullet (slightly NSFW)

A man walks into a gun shop.

"I want to buy a new scope and bullets for my rifle"

"sure" said the owner handing over a scope "if you look out the window, this scope is so powerful you can see into my house"

The man looks, then turns to the shopkeeper and says "sorry mate there i...

Why don’t gun shops have a drive thru?

Because then it would be a drive by

It was a rough day when the shelf collapsed at the gun shop..

The stocks plummeted..

A young blonde fears that her boyfriend is seeing another girl...

One day, the girl is visiting her boyfriend's apartment for lunch and stumbles across another woman's discarded garments on his bedroom floor. After sitting coolly through the meal, avoiding eye contact, she quietly excuses herself without explanation. She is incredibly hurt, and on her way home fin...

A blonde buys a gun.

A young blonde is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home early to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She pulls the gun from her purse and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rookie hunter walks into a gun shop and asks the owner about the optimal modification for his pistol to better deal with brown bears.

With little hesitation the owner says to file down the front sights.

Intrigued the rookie asks how such a simple modification will help. The owner replies, "Well... It will hurt less when the bear shoves it up your ass."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hunter went to the gun shop to buy a scope...

A hunter went into a gun store to buy a new scope for his rifle. He walks up to the counter and asks for the best scope available. The clerk reaches underneath the shelf and takes one out.

"This is the best scope money can buy. If you don't believe me, take it and look out the window. You can...

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.

You are too late. This joke is no more.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Slightly adapted for translation

A black guy walks into a gun shop and asks the fellow behind the counter:

-Do you have rifles?

-No.

-Do you have shotguns?

-No.

-Pistols?

-No.

Confused, the black guy exits the shop and realizes the shop has all those items on display. Angered, he r...

Husband and Wife are Christmas Shopping at a busy shopping mall just before Christmas.

The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on his cell.

The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."
He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond neckl...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is having some trouble in bed...

... so he goes to see the doctor about it. The doctor does a full exam and pronounces that the man has premature ejaculation problems. To fix it, the doctor tells him to get something loud and surprising to stop it from happening.

The man goes to the local gun shop and decides that the best c...

2 guys go moose hunting for the 1st time

They stop at a gun shop to get all the gear they will need. The clerk helping them out decided to have a little fun with the newbies.


CLERK: Best way to hunt a moose is in one of these female moose costumes. You both get in it, make a moose mating call, when the male moose shows up just...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So Bob is having some issues in the bedroom...

Him and his wife and tired of it, it's really starting to hurt their marriage.
Bob decides to take the second half of his day off work and head to the doctor searching for a solution. "Well Dick, it's just happening to fast and I can't seem to get it under control, any ideas?" "Well Bob, a trick...

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