Spell a word

A woman dies and meets Peter at the pearly gates. She asks, Great! I made it to heaven? Peter says, No, you have to spell a word first. She says Ok, what word. Peter says, spell the word Love. The woman spells out loud, L O V E. Peter says, Great! You're in. A few months later, the woman is hanging...

A Husband and Wife at Custody court

The judge looks sternly at the ex wife.

Judge: “why do you think you deserve custody of the child?”

Ex wife: “I brought him into this world so I should have custody of him”

Judge: “that is a simple yet good reason.”

Then the judge looks towards the Ex husband.

...

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A 30 something year old man goes to a singles bar....

And starts conversation with a woman who was about his age. They're really hitting it off and the chemistry is strong, so after a couple drinks they start to open up to each other.

"I'm gonna be honest with you," says the man, "My wife recently divorced me so I'm on the rebound. I was just to...

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My girlfriends hot sister

A man who was very close to proposing to his girlfriend was on his way from work when he received a phone call from his girlfriend.
“Hey honey can you please meet at my sisters place for dinner tonight”?

The man agreed and drove over to his girlfriends sisters house. Now this wasn’t out o...

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I went to the bar with my girlfriend of 2years...

When we got there their was a guy being very drunk and she kept looking over at him. I asked her if she knew the man and she said thats her ex husband, Hes been like that ever since she broke up with him 5years ago. And then i said Holy shit hes been celebrating for that long.

A recently divorced couple were in court

battling over the custody of their child.
The mother spoke first, ranting and raving about what a terrible father her ex husband had been.
The judge asks the father if he had any comments.
The father simply replied:

"If I place a quarter in a gum-ball machine, who get to keep the can...

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