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Ex Husband Jokes

An ex husband an ex wife are in court fighting in a bitter custody battle over their child.

The judge asks the woman: "Why do you feel you deserve custody?"

The woman says: "I brought that child into this world. My child literally came out of me! That is why I deserve custody."

The judge nods his head, and says "That is a simple and logical reason. It makes sense."

The...

A recently divorced couple were in court

battling over the custody of their child.
The mother spoke first, ranting and raving about what a terrible father her ex husband had been.
The judge asks the father if he had any comments.
The father simply replied:

"If I place a quarter in a gum-ball machine, who get to keep the can...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to the bar with my girlfriend of 2years...

When we got there their was a guy being very drunk and she kept looking over at him. I asked her if she knew the man and she said thats her ex husband, Hes been like that ever since she broke up with him 5years ago. And then i said Holy shit hes been celebrating for that long.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriends hot sister

A man who was very close to proposing to his girlfriend was on his way from work when he received a phone call from his girlfriend.
“Hey honey can you please meet at my sisters place for dinner tonight”?

The man agreed and drove over to his girlfriends sisters house. Now this wasn’t out o...

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