I was fired from my job in a restaurant kitchen for refusing to slice up one of the condiments with a knife...
I just didn't cut the mustard.
In a interview, my boss asked me, "Why do you think you should work here?"
I said, "My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned ... couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
I then tried crushing cans for recycling, but I quit because it was soda-pressing....
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