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Breaking Up Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the hardest part breaking up with a Japanese girlfriend?

You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.

My girlfriend said, “I am breaking up with you because of your addiction of wearing a different t-shirt every half an hour.”

I said, “Wait! I can change.”

My wife said she's breaking up with me, because of my obsession with rhyming,

I nearly choked on my tea, what terrible timing!

Girlfriend: "We're breaking up."

Boyfriend: "Why?"

Girlfriend: "You're always playing video games."

Boyfriend: "This is a stupid thing to *Fallout 4*."


All Credit goes to my friend

What’s the best meal to make for someone you’re breaking up with?

Dumplings

They say that breaking up is hard to do – but it's much easier

with a restraining order and a Rottweiler.

The United Kingdom is breaking up!

Soon it will be the Untied Kingdom.

MY gf said we where breaking up , i was confused

Then i went out and the signal was lot clearer

Just before breaking up with them, I would treat all my exes to mani-pedis, massages, and give them some spending money.

Father always taught me to leave stuff in better condition than how I found it.

Breaking up in 2020

"we need to practice social distancing"

A couple is arguing and breaking up

And he says:
- You don't love me because I'm colorblind, right Violet?
- You stupid! I told you my name is Amber!!

Mario is breaking up with Princess Peach

Peach: Is it me? Is it my fault?


Mario: No, it's-a not-a you, it's-a me, Mario!

Girl: im breaking up with u.

guy: why?
girl: because u keep quoting Chicago lyrics.
guy: but, if u leave me now, u take away the biggest part of me 😭

My girlfriend texted me that we were breaking up.

I was relieved when she said, “Sorry, wrong number.”

Breaking up over the phone is terrible.

Just try calling back.

Since breaking up with my girlfriend, my dad has been there to offer me plenty of life advice.

Which is rich coming from him, considering he was dating my girlfriend.

I can't believe Fred and Daphne are breaking up

Yeah, I hear they're splitting up to search for clues

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Girl: I am breaking up with u

Me: Wait, why?
Girl: Because all u fucking talk about are video games
Me: Babe Please.
Me: This is such a stupid thing to Fallout 4.
Girl: Bye.

My girlfriend just called me up and told me that we were breaking up.

I went outside and the signal improved.

Do you wanna hear a joke about couples breaking up?

Nevermind it wouldn't work out

Break Ups.....

Girl : I am breaking up with you.

Boy: Ok!

Girl : You will never find somebody like me again.....

Boy : Thank God!

My boyfriend was breaking up with me and started to walk out the door

So I jammed my knee into his stomach.

“You can’t leave, I kneed you”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy said to his girlfriend before breaking up, "A relationship is like a fart."

"How is that?" She mockingly said.
He then replied, "If you have to force it, it's probably crap anyway."

What do two rednecks say after breaking up?

Lets just be cousins.

I was telling my deaf girlfriend we are breaking up...

I guess she didn’t see the signs

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