Blonde Joke Jokes - 96 Hilarious Blonde Joke Jokes

A blonde joke...

A Blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooste...

Blonde Joke

An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent....

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Blonde Joke.

Guy says to a Blonde girl.

I bet I can guess when you were born just by fondling your tits,

no way says the Blonde, go on then, so 20 minutes later the

Blonde says OK when was I born?

Guy says: Yesterday.

Blonde says don't be fucking stupid, have another go...

Finally a smart blonde joke

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and Needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz...

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A blonde joke

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing-747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."...

A blonde got tired of blonde jokes

One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals.

Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last n...

My (blonde) sister hates blonde jokes. I (redhead) told her I have a redhead joke for her. She was eager to hear it!

A redhead goes for a drive through the country, just enjoying the peaceful ride with her windows open. She has to stop as a shepherd is moving his flock across the road. The redhead gets out of her car to stretch and has an idea.

"Hey Mister! If I can guess how many sheep you have, may I keep...

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint.
He walks into the livin...

Old blonde joke.

A husband comes home to find his beautiful blonde wife sitting at the kitchen table in tears.
"What's wrong, dear?" He asks
Through her tears she says, "well, I've been trying to put this puzzle together all day and I just can't seem to figure it out! It's supposed to be a tiger."
He loo...

Who composes all these blonde jokes?

Brunettes do, during the lonely winter evenings.

Smart blonde joke

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation. They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning – though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric cha...

A blind man enters a bar and asks the Barkeeper "Wanna hear a joke about blondes?"

Suddenly, the bar is as silent as a grave. A guy next to the blind man leans over and whispers

"Dude, be carefull. The barkeeper is blonde and an ex-soldier. The bouncer is also blonde and the reigning box champion of the city. And then there is Joe... he's just released from prison after he...

A blonde joke my sub told us.

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock.
...

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Not your average blonde joke

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is eas...

A blonde got fed up with all the Blonde jokes......

So she cut her hair short and dyed it black. Bought a snazzy convertible and went driving through the countryside.
On a back country road, she drove up to a large flock of sheep that were slowly crossing the road. As she sat there watching the flock she saw the farmer standing there.
She said ...

The Ultimate Blonde Joke

A blonde is speeding and is pulled over by a blonde woman cop. The cop asks the driver for her license and she says 'What's that?'

The cop says, "You know - it's that squarish thingy with your picture on it".

The driver digs in her purse, finds a small mirror, looks in it and then hand...

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A ventriloquist at a comedy show is telling blonde jokes...

Suddenly, a blonde woman in the crowd stands up.

"I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype women like this? What does the color of a person’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It’s men like you that keep women like me from being res...

Why are blonde jokes so short?

So men can remember them.

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Blonde joke

A blonde takes her car to be fixed. After the mechanic is done with his work he said
"Nothing serious mam, just shit in the gas tank."
The blonde asks
"How often?"

Blonde Joke of the day

Two blondes fell down a hole.

One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?"

The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see." :-D

Another blonde joke

A professor told his class:

"Fame will come to you only after you succeed!"

A blonde asked, "Who is 'Seed'?"

Another blonde joke... SFW

What do you call a blonde who dies her hair black?

Artificial intelligence..

A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes...

...and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!"

Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you...

The Blonde joke to end all Blonde jokes

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman Police Officer, who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blondes driver's licence. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

"What does it lo...

People always tell blondes blonde jokes but I enjoyed this one

A blonde was speeding in a school zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, ...

Another blonde joke

A blonde reports for her university final exam. The exam consists mainly of true or false questions.

She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin. Sh...

Blonde Joke.

A Blonde went for a pizza.

The chef said, would you like it cut into four slices or eight?

Blonde said, four please.

There is no way I could possibly eat eight slices.

A blonde joke.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family...

Another blonde joke.

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

Th...

Blonde joke

A guy takes off his shirt and the blonde says wow what a great chest you have
Guy says thanks, that’s 100 lbs of dynamite babe
So, he takes off his pants and she says wow what nice calves you have. The guy says thanks that’s a 100 lbs of dynamite babe.
So, he takes off his underwear and the...

One of my favorite blonde jokes

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging a...

Blonde joke

A brunette is complaining to her blonde friend:
"My boyfriend bought me flowers again. That means I'll have to spend the weekend lying on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde asks, "Why? Don't you have a vase?:

Blonde joke (no offense meant )

A blonde went into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother overseas.

When the man told her it would cost $200, she exclaimed: "I don't have any money." But I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother."

The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect). "Anything?" he...

Another Blonde Joke

Two blondes stood by a car in which they had accidentally locked the key.

“We need to get in there,” says the first blonde. “Why don’t we use a coat hanger to slide the lock open?”

“No,” says the second. “People’d think we’re trying to steal the car.”

“I have a pair of scissors...

The blonde jokes on this sub need to stop!

I'm blonde and I don't get them.

There's only 3 blonde jokes...

The rest are true stories.

Another blonde joke

Boyfriend is driving down the street with his (blonde) girlfriend in the passenger seat. The boyfriend becomes concerned the turn signals are not working, so he asks his girlfriend to poke her head out the passenger side window to see if the right turn signal is functioning. She replies, "it's worki...

A blonde woman was getting tired of all the blonde jokes she heard, so she dyed her hair and set out to prove them wrong while “undercover”

She came across a huge heard of sheep and saw their shepherd.

“Hey! If I can correctly count all your sheep, can I have one?” she asked, eyeing a chance to prove blondes could at least do basic math.

The bored shepherd answered, “Yeah, sure”.

The blonde set about counting and...

Blonde Joke

A young couple moved into a new neighborhood.

The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young blonde woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside.

“That laundry is not very clean,” she said. “She doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better l...

Another blonde joke

A blonde woman is driving down the road. She notices that she's low on gas, so she stops at a gas station. While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so that she can attempt to open the door hersel...

A blonde joke

A blonde woman goes to Walmart to buy a TV. She finds one that she can afford and a salesman comes over and she tells him that she's looking for a TV. He says, "Sorry, but we don't sell to blondes."
She gets mad and leaves. The next day she dyes her hair brunette and the same interaction happen...

Another dumb blonde joke

Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?

For throwing away all the W's.

...Another Blonde Joke

A blonde waves down a taxi cab near a street corner. As she opens the rear door, the Taxi driver asks her to check the rear lights to ensure the blinkers are working... The Blonde steps to the rear of the taxi and yells out, "Yes... No... Yes... No..."

A blonde girl is tired of people making dumb blonde jokes...

So she decides to gather a stadium full of blondes to prove that not all blondes are dumb. She picks one woman from the crowd and asks her,

"What is the square root of 144?"

The woman thinks long and hard and answers, "Uhmmm, 7?"

The stadium starts chanting, "one more try!...

Blonde Joke (oldie but a goodie)

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are standing in front of a firing squad about to be executed. The executioner chooses the redhead first...

Executioner - Do you have any words to say before you die?
Redhead - no
Executioner - ready, aim...
(The redhead screams) "TORNADO!"
**Ever...

Blonde joke

A blonde woman is driving her car when she crashes. When the police arrive she tells them the man she collided with was on his phone and drinking a can of beer.

The police said back to her “he can do what he wants in his own living room”

Click for a dumb blonde joke...

A town decides to host the biggest convention in history: a blonde convention.

Blondes from all over the world came to this event to meet some fellow blondes.

The plan was to prove for once and for all that the stereotype of blondes being dumb was a lie. So a big stage was set up in th...

Another Blonde Joke

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead have just robbed a bank are are on the run with the police hot on their tails. They run down an alley and find three empty boxes, so they each jump in a box. The police round the corner and approach the boxes. They kick the first box, containing the brunette. She y...

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Blonde joke

A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb-blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet. “What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?” she demands. “What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?” Flustered, the ven...

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Blonde joke that you never heard before

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, "Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!'

The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, "Well, little lady, why don't you go give...

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A Blonde Joke

A blonde woman and her dad decided to take a trip to Egypt for their vacation. A few hours into the hike in the desert, the blonde realizes she's lost her dad. Thinking she can easily call him, the woman checks her cellphone. Unfortunately there's no signal.

However, she sees in a distan...

Another Blonde Joke

A blonde, an American, and a Russian are in a bar, bragging about why they're better. The Russian says, "We were the first into space!" The American says, "We were the first on the moon!" The blonde says,"Well we're going to be the first on the sun!"
The American says,"You know you can't do that...

Blonde joke walks into a bar.

A guy is having a drink in a very dark bar. He leans over to the big woman next to him and says; “Do you wanna hear a funny blonde joke?” The big woman replies; “Well, before you tell me that joke, you should know something. I’m blond, six feet tall, 210 pounds, and I’m a professional triathlete and...

A blonde got tired of "dumb blonde jokes" so she dyed her hair

As she was driving down some country road she notices a shepherd with his flock. She stops the car and approaches. "Excuse me sir." she says "If I guess how many sheep are in your flock can I have one?" Shepherd thinks it over and thinks she'll never get the number right, as it was a decent sized fl...

A blonde joke

A blonde is talking to another about her new boyfriend. “How is everything?” She asks

“ He’s great except he has dandruff.” Says the first.

“ That’s not a problem, just give him some Head and Shoulders.”

“Okay” says the first, “ but how do you give shoulders?”

Blonde dyes her hair brown, because she's tired of all the blonde jokes

this blonde girl dies her hair brown because she's tired of all the jokes she decides to take a ride one day in her convertible. She's got the top down and she's cruising up an Old country road.And comes across this sheep herder. So she stops and pokes her head over the convertible and says excuse m...

Not Another Blonde Joke

There once was a blonde woman who was tired of everyone making fun of her for being a “dumb blonde”.

She went to the hairdresser and had her hair dyed brunette.

On her way home, she was driving past a field full of sheep. She got excited and stopped to pet a sheep. She walked up to t...

My favorite blonde joke.

A blonde was tired of all the abuse she received because she was blond so she decided to hang herself on a tree in a field.

A man walked by and saw what was happening, approached her he asked, "What are you doing?"

She replied, "I'm going to kill myself because I can't take the abuse a...

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[Blonde Joke] A blonde woman is walking around town with her breast exposed

A man walks up to her and says "ma'am did you know your boob is out?"

The blonde looks down, seeing her exposed breast screams "OH MY GOD I LEFT MY BABY ON THE BUS"

Random blonde joke.

A blonde decided she needed something new and different for a winter hobby. She went to the bookstore and bought every book she could find on ice fishing.

For weeks she read and studied, hoping to become an expert in the field. Finally she decided she knew enough and out she went for her fir...

My favorite blonde joke

-Source: I don't remember where I first saw it, but when I googled it coolblondejokes.com got first result

One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb.
They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb."
...

I had a blonde joke.

But I voted him out of office.

Another blonde joke

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead die and since they were bad people they go to hell.

However, God says "since you weren't terrible people people I'd like to give you a second chance, if you can climb up all 100 steps of this ladder without laughing at my jokes I'll give you a second chance....

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Blonde Joke

Why did the blonde girl have bruises around her belly button?

Because blonde guys aren't smart either (Sorry if it's a repost.)

Another blonde joke

A famous ventriloquist is doing a comedy show with his puppet, where he and the puppet chat and the puppet tells the jokes. At one point in the show, the puppet tells a whole string of the usual blonde jokes, which has the audience roaring with laughter.

But one woman isn't having it. She st...

Blonde Joke

A brunette, a red head, and a blonde walk into a magic shop. The owner tells them about a magic mirror that makes people disappear when they tell lies.

The girls walk up to the mirror and take turns testing to see if it works.

Brunette: “I think I’m the smartest girl in the world.”...

BLONDE JOKE :)

A police officer is walking down the street one day making his rounds, when he noticed a beautiful blonde woman standing on the sidewalk, crying hysterically. He runs over to her and says, "What's wrong? Has something terrible happened?" She replies, "Yes, a stranger just stole the fifty dollars ...

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Another Smart(ish) Blonde Joke

Hot shot lawyer sitting next to a blonde on a plane. He's thinking to himself: "oh yea, let's make some quick cash off this bimbo". This is how it ensues:

Lawyer: "Hi, we've got quite a long time sitting next to each other, so let's play a game, what do you say?"

Blonde: "Ok, sure, wha...

A ventriloquist is performing and makes a blonde joke.

A blonde woman in the audience is offended and says “How does my hair color affect my intelligence and value as a person?” The ventriloquist apologizes and promises not to make any more blonde jokes for the rest of the performance. The blonde says “I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to the guy o...

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Another blonde joke

Two blondes were analyzing some tracks. The first one insisted they were rabbit prints, while the second blonde was certain they were made by a raccoon. Back and forth they argued, rabbit tracks, raccoon tracks, rabbit tracks. Then they got hit by a train.

Surprise! A blonde joke!

A brunette, a ginger, and a blonde are all running from the police. They come across a barn and decide it’s the best place to hide. Once inside, they find a few empty burlap sacks. The police arrive after just a few minutes. Their dogs quickly move the officers towards the burlap sacks where these c...

Another Blonde Joke

A blonde went to an appliance store sale and caught the sight of a great bargain. “I would like to buy this TV,” she told the salesman, who was standing nearby. “Sorry, we don’t sell to blondes,” he replied. With this information in mind, she hurried back home and dyed her hair, then rushed back and...

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People need to stop telling blonde jokes!!!

The blondes are really pissed off and have bought thousands of septic tanks. As soon as they figure out how to drive them, they are going to attack us!

Blonde joke

A redhead, a brunette and a blonde are stuck on a desert island.

They know the nearest coast is 50 miles away.

The redhead swims 30 miles but gets tired and drowns.

The brunette swims 45 miles but gets tired and drowns.

The blonde swims 40 miles, gets tired and swims back...

Blonde Joke

There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a...

So we are doing blonde jokes now?

Two blondes are hiking through the woods hunting when they come across some tracks. The first says they are the largest moose tracks they have ever seen, they should follow them and get a record kill. The second disagrees, saying they are the largest bear tracks they have ever seen and they need t...

Another blonde joke...

A blonde was speeding on a highway when a policeman pulled her over.

The policeman walks up to the blonde and say "excuse me ma'am can I see your driving license and registration."

The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just ye...

1990s Blonde joke

What’s the definition of eternity?

4 blondes at a 4 way stop junction

Just Another Blonde Joke

A guy was sitting on his porch one day when he saw 2 blondes working hard at the end of the street. One would dig a hole and the other would fill it in immediately after it was finished. This went on for about 2 hours until he walked over and said "Hey, you two are working pretty hard there, but I d...

3 ladies at work (yes it's yet another Blonde joke)

Three ladies all work in the same office with the same female boss. Every day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day, the girls decided that, when the boss left, they'd all leave a few minutes after her. After all, she never called or came back, so how was she to know?

The brunette ...

Blonde Joke!

Blonde walks into a dry cleaner with her sweater and asks the clerk how much it would cost to get the stain out. The clerk didn’t hear her turns to her and says come again? The blonde giggles and says no it’s just mustard this time

Smart blonde joke

Whoah, I know. Here it is: so a blonde walks into a bank and asked to borrow a $500 loan. The bank needs some colleratal so she gives the bank her Rolls Royce. After a couple of months she comes back and promptly pays the loan back. The bank clerk asked why she borrowed the money if she could pay it...

A drunk man walks into a bar

After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, "You wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The person replies, "I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My frien...

One day, a blonde was sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and wanted to prove herself

So she began going door to door to see if there was any type of work that she could do.

She arrived at this wealthy family home where she knocked on the door and a man answered. “Hi. I’m tired of being called blonde and being told that I’m dumb. Is there any job that I can do to prove my wor...

A blonde joke

A guy brings his blonde girlfriend to her first ever football game. After the game he asks how she liked it.
“It was good!” The blonde replied, “but I don’t understand why they were fighting over .25 cents.”
The guy looks at her, perplexed.
“At the beginning of the game,” the blonde explain...

Blonde Joke

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind the team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why th...

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Blonde joke

A blonde is speeding down the highway and notices the flashing lights of a police car behind her. She slows down and pulls over to wait for the police officer, who also happens to be a blonde.

The police officer asks her for her driver's license. The driver says:"I'm not sure what that is... ...

A blind man walks into a bar. He sits down at the bar and the female bartender walks up and asks what he wants.

He orders a beer and asks the bartender if she wants to hear a blonde joke?

She says “Hold on buddy. You clearly are not aware, but this bar is completely staffed by women. And I’m a blonde, the woman you’re sitting next to is blonde, and the bouncer behind you is blonde. You sure you still w...

A blind blond guy walks into a bar and yells out, "Hey! Do you all want to hear a dumb blonde joke?"

One of the patrons takes the guy aside and says, "Look, buddy. The bartender is blond. The 400-pound wrestler sitting near the window is blond. The armed police officer sitting at the bar is blond. The lawyer sitting at the back of the bar close to the washrooms is blond. The martial arts guy sittin...

Still the best blonde joke to date..

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond escape a burning building by
climbing to the roof. The firemen are on the street below,
holding a blanket for them to jump into.

The firemen yell to the brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only
chance to survive!"

The brunette jumps and SWISH! T...

Just another blonde joke

There once was a blonde who always wanted to learn how to ride a horse. She kept talking herself out of it until one morning she woke up and decided this is it! She was going to do it!
So she found a horse she liked and jumped on. At first everything was going great and she’s thinking “well, this...

A blonde joke

A blonde goes to the store to return her TV she just bought. She takes it to the customer service desk and tells the employee that her TV is defective and would like to return it for a working model.
The employee looks at her and says "I'm sorry but we do not serve blondes".
The lady comes...

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Blonde joke

A blonde is trying to hammer down a pin into a wall, she has the flat end to the wall and is hammering the pointy end. She gets really pissed as it clearly isn't working. Her friend comes in and asks whats wrong. "Well, this pin just work! It's not piercing this wall!" she says.
Her friend looks ...

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Intelligent Blonde Joke

A guy gets on a plane, and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He turns to her and makes his move. He says, "You know, I heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger...so let's talk."

The blonde asks "Okay, what would you like to discuss?"...

Blonde Joke

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'

'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' an...

A blonde joke

A blonde girl walks into a store and sees a small TV that she really likes. She asks the sales clerk, "How much for this TV?"

The sales clerk says, "I'm sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

Angry, but determined to buy the TV, the blonde girl storms out and dyes her hair black. She come...

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