100 meter race ho

Referee - '1,2,3 GO!'...

Everybody started running except Dummy.

Referee - Y r u not running...?

Dummy- My number is 4.

I quit the 100 meter-sprint yesterday

I think I'll be better off in the long run.

A 100 meter race

Announcer : 1 2 3 start.

Everyone except one guy started running.

Announcer : Why aren't you running ?

The guy : Because my number is four.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My first time having sex was like the olympic 100 meter sprint.

Not because it was over in 10 seconds, but because it included 8 black men and a gun.

A young man goes into the public swimming pool because he wants to swim the 100 meters.

At the edge of the pool are sitting three elderly ladies and watch him swimming the 100 meters in one and a half minutes.

As he climbs out of the pool, one of the three ladies says, "Not bad, but I'm 70 years old and can do it better!" "I do not think so, you have to prove that to me!" Says ...

What do you call several blonde hair blue-eyed men doing the 100 meter dash?

The superior race

After having dug to a depth of 100 meters in a mine, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years...

After having dug to a depth of 100 meters in a mine, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 1000 years ago. Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, English sc...

What's the worst thing about running 100 meters in less than 10 seconds?

Being black.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Girl and Her Sniper Rifle

I had a friend named Sierra once. She was a pretty chill girl. Really only had two defining characteristics about her though, her love of lemon-lime sodas and her innate marksmanship. She was a damn good crackshot.


Her dad was a bit of a gun nut. Owned lots of rifles including a classic...

A Welshman, a Scotsman, and an Englishman find a magic lamp

A Welshman, a Scotsman, and an Englishman are walking on a beach and find a magic lamp. They rub it and a genie comes out. He tells them that they each get a single wish.

The Scotsman goes first. “I wish for Scotland to make the finest whisky forever.” The genie granted the wish, and...not mu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't normally make fun of somebody's race, but someone has to say it.

FUCK the 100 meter dash. It's just a weaker version of every other race.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Iranian, a Israeli, and a Nazi are walking through the desert...

....when they happen upon a magic lamp! Excited, they rub the lamp and a Genie appears. "Thank you for releasing me! In exchange, I will grant you each one wish".

The Iranian thinks for a minute, and says: "My people get pushed around by the rest of the world, but we would be fine if we ha...

Is it bad to hate a certain race?

Because I despise the 100 meter

Russian archeologists made a big discovery

As they dug a 100 meter deep hole, they found old copper wires. They made a big, worldwide announcement that the Russians were an advanced species. Even 1000 years ago they already had a copper network.

The Americans couldn't cope with the Russians being advanced longer than the Americans, so...

What do you call it when ISIS soldiers run for cover?

100 meter Daesh

An engineer, a mathematician, a cartographer and a philosopher have a contest...

An engineer, a mathematician, a cartographer and a philosopher have a contest. Whoever can fence off the largest area of land with only 100 meters of fence will win and prove their profession superior.

The engineer goes first, and using his expertise makes a square 25m by 25m for 625m^(2). Co...

A man met a beautiful woman at a bar

They were hitting it off and enjoying each other's company. Then, the woman asked if he wanted her to show him a good time. The man instantly said yes.

After they left the bar, the woman instantly sprinted 100 meters under 9 seconds.

The woman said : "How was that, was it a good time?...

I am proud to be a racist.

100 meters, 10ks, marathons...you name it, they're better than biking.

An extremely close landing on an extremely short runway..

A plane is nearing its destination. The pilot turns to his co-pilot and remarks: "That looks like a really short runway." The co-pilot looks at it and says: "Yes, captain, its really short." 100 meters from the runway, the pilot communicates to the passengers and crew: "Fasten your seatbelts, this i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

First dirty joke an adult ever told me, what's yours?

A pelican spots a frog in a marsh and swallows him whole. The pelican flies off and reaches a great height. Suddenly the frog pokes his head out of the pelicans butt and yells out to the pelican "Hey,how high are we right now?", the pelican replies "About 100 meters.", to which the frog nervously re...

My parents are mixed race...

Dad prefers the 100 meter, but Mom is a real fan of the marathon.

A ginger, A brunette and a blond on an island

3 women are on an island which is 100 meters away from the mainland. One woman is ginger, one woman is brunette and one woman is blond. They decide to take it in turns to swim back to the mainland. The ginger goes first and as she is a bad swimmer she gets 20meters from the island and thinks she can...

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A Tourist in Egypt is walking through the desert...

A Tourist in Egypt is walking through the desert on his way from one Oasis to another.

After a while, he spots a man, sitting in the middle of the desert, looking like he was holding on to an invisible steering wheel, and loudly going "Vroom! Vrooooom!!". Confused, he stepped closer. "Excuse...

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