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Stray Bullet Jokes

My uncle got shot by a stray bullet. By some miracle, he had a bible in his jacket pocket.

So he had something to read as he bled to death.

A stray bullet just flew through my window and broke my monitor.

I think there are better ways to take a screenshot...

A woman pregnant with triplets catches three stray bullets from a drive-by shooting.

In the emergency room, a doctor tells her she and her unborn children will be fine but they could not remove the bullets. He informs her all is well and the children, two girls and a boy, will pee the bullets out in around 16 years.

So around the 16th year, the mother is in the kitchen making...

Two French generals...

... of the Napolean army were watching a battle from a nearby hill. Suddenly, a stray bullet struck one of them in the shoulder. Without an instants' pause, he turned to his aide. "Fetch me my red jacket," he commanded. As the aide rushed to comply, he turned to the other General, and explained that...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Little Kid Sees a Pirate on the Beach...

and walks up to him. The pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. Intrigued, the kid asks, "how come you've got that peg for a foot?"

The pirate responds, "Aye, now that's a story. I was battlin' another ship with me crew, and a cannon ball flew straight toward me. Blew everythin' past...

A quote from a WWII veteran...

If you see a group of soldiers but don't know where they're from fire a stray bullet in their direction and see how they react.

If they respond with precise rifle fire they're British.

If they respond with a frenzy of machine gun fire they're German.

If they try running away the...

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