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Self Employed Jokes

Being self employed sucks

My boss is always threatening to kill me

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

Boss perv

I sit at work today drinking Coke, doing some stuff with Excel tables when suddenly my boss puts his hand into my pants, jerks me off, and then goes back to his previous work like nothing happened. Being self employed has its positives.

What do you call a self employed individual who works with fertilizer?

An Entremanure.

I quit my job last year because my boss was an idiot. Now Iā€™m self employed.

My boss is still an idiot.

I don't know what's more repugnant--the fact that I've been sleeping with members of my staff...

...or the fact that I'm self employed.

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

Imagine having sex with your boss's daughter.

And remembering that you are self employed.

So I was banging the boss's daughter...

Can't get fired, I'm self employed

Today at work, at my desk, my boss offered me a handjob...

It's okay though, I'm self employed.

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