A man and woman were out for a date one evening at a fancy restaurant.

The waitress comes over to take their order.

The guy says, "I think I'd like a quicky."

The waitress says, "Excuse me!?"

The guy says, "I said I want a quicky."

The waitress slaps him.

The guy's date leans over and says, "I think this idiot is trying to order ...

Two Old Men On A Bench

Two old men sat on a bench. We'll call them Bob and Joe. As Bob and Joe were sitting on the bench, Bob turns to Joe and asks, "Hey Joe, do you think there's baseball in Heaven?" Joe waits for a moment and replies, "well as you can tell with this cancer in all I don't have much time left......so I'll...

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A man walks into work with a smile

Every morning, he walks in and passes the security guard with a great big grin on his face. One day, bleary eyed, the security guard asks him why he's so chipper every morning.

"Well, it's simple. Every morning when my alarm goes off, I rub my wife on the shoulder and say 'Blondie, Blondie, e...

A WW2 vet is giving a speech at an all girl school.

He begins talking about some of the airfights he was a part of. " I was flying northbound, when a f**ker came up on my left, and another two f**kers came up on my right." The headmistress, shocked, quicky explained: "Ladies, the fokker was a german airplane." The vet replies: " Yes, but these f**ker...

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Two friends are drinking in a bar...

Before they know it, the night has passed into the wee hours of the morning. The first man turns to the second and says "I'll be in trouble when I get home to the wife again. Every time I'm home late I get a taxi to a few doors down, creep round to the back door, take my shoes off, tip toe up the st...

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Superman

Superman is just flying arround through Metropolis using his x-ray vision when he spots wonder woman in her house completely naked laying in her bed with her legs spread wide open. He turns arround, and sees her again but this time on all four.
He's so horny that he thinks to himself I'll use my ...

What is a Yankee?

It is the same as a Quicky but your alone.

The aging head of a secluded Monastary decides he will take a walk into the nearby town for the first time in 30 years.

As he's walking down the street he passes a hooker on a corner who says "Hey twenty dollars for a quicky". Confused, he walks past another corner and another hooker says "Hey padre, twenty dollars for a quicky". He has no idea whats going on, so he returns to the monastary and calls the Mother Super...

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