Pickup Line Jokes - 73 Hilarious Pickup Line Jokes

Depressing pickup lines.

Are you suicide?
Because I think about you every day.

Are you a toaster?
Because I really want to take a bath with you.

Are you a noose?
Because I really want to hang with you.

Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me.

Are you anti-...

What pickup line do guys use to get girls in Alabama?

You’re like a sister to me.

My new pickup line: Hey, are you an interest rate?

Because I’d love to Compound you.

What's your favorite pickup line?

For me, it's the Ford F series.

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Bad pickup line #197

You should collect wine vats, because you’ve got a beautiful butt.

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I was let down by a pickup line in a club last night.

I walked up to a girl at the bar and said, 'Hey, I'm bisexual, let me buy you a drink and then we can get sexual?'

I was rather disappointed when she turned around and replied, 'No, your bi-curious, you can go buy me a drink and when you come back, you can wonder where the fuck I've gone.'

Dark pickup lines

Are you suicide?
Because I think about you every day.

Are you the suicide hotline?
Because I need to get your number.

Are you a noose?
Because I’d love to hang with you.

Are you a coffin?
Because I wish I was inside you.

Are you a death certificate?
Bec...

a professional pickup line

A guy walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting by herself at the bar. He sits next to her and, before he can say a word, she turns to him and says, "I'll screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, for any reason." "What a coincidence," he replies. "I'm a lawyer, too."

(Pickup line) What has 32 teeth and holds back the hulk.

My zipper

Why is r/Tinder so full of pickup lines?

cuz redditors can't get any further in the conversation

Great pickup line...

You:Hey, do you have a Memory foam mattress?

Her: Yes.

You: Wanna Traumatize it?

What’s a fly’s favourite pickup line?

Is this stool taken?

Guys I’ve been meeting have the worst pickup lines.

Like, “Hey, what’s your friend’s name?”

Pickup line: "Hey girl. Is your dad in prison?"

"Because if I was your dad, I'd be in prison."

Good pickup line.

Two male flies are buzzing around the farmyard when they spot a female fly landing on a fresh pile of cow dung.
The one fly says, "Wow, she is cute! I'm going to try to talk to her, wish me luck."
He swoops down, lands right next to her and says, "Excuse me Miss, is this stool taken?"

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Best pickup line:

Me: Can I smell your pussy?

Girl: no

Me: oh, it must be your feet then.

"Dead or alive, you're coming with me."

Great movie quote, terrible pickup line…

The most cringey pickup line ever

Are you french because Eiffel for you.

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Pickup lines

Man to a woman: I can tell you a story about my penis, but it’s too long!

Woman replies: I can tell you a story about my pussy, but you won’t get it!

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The pickup line of Cecil the cavalier

Cecil is a young British aristocrat who loves horse-riding but is terribly shy.

On his daily trot around Hyde Park, he frequently sees a beautiful girl riding a jet-black Morgan horse but can’t pluck up the courage to approach her.

One evening he’s having a beer with his friend Charles...

What's the worst/best pickup line you ever heard

Mines if I were a booger I would pick you first

A magnet walks into an elemental singles bar and tries a pickup line on a pretty slab of metal.

"Is your name *Beryllium*? 'Cause you can alka-***lie*** next to *my* earth metal!"

The slab of ***lead*** says "Nah. You don't *attract* me."

Ba dum TSS!

Nerdy cell pickup lines

- These were some of my biology notes from freshman year. I actually remembered the functions from these jokes

Are u a golgi apparatus? Cause I need help processing my feelings for u

Are we proteins in a golgi apparatus? Cause we’re being shipped

I hope you aren’t a controsome c...

Pickup lines for all of the mineral ladies :)

If you come home with me theres a high chance you will be (Mg,Fe2+)2(Mg,Fe2+)5Si 8O 22(OH) 2

Terrible pickup line

If I'm a squirrel and you're a tree can I stuff my nuts in your hole?

Pickup Line!

on a scale of 1 to 10, you are a 9 and I'm the 1 you need.

Covid-19 Pickup Lines

Covid-19 cancelling everything except my love for you.

Pickup line : hello, are you lactose intolerant?

Just wanted to make sure, my pickup line is very chessy. .

I used that once...she laughed...her husband laughed i walked away...true story btw

[Bad Pickup Line] I know I'm not the best looking guy here tonight...

but I'm the only one talking to you...

One of the best pickup lines ever

Are you trash?
Cause I wanna take you out

What was the cannibal's goto pickup line?

Mind if I pick your brain.

Halloween Pickup lines

I can't find a costume for Halloween, so can I just go as your boyfriend?

Your costume looks complicated. Need help taking it off?

You’re such a treat that I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me.

You're the most boo-tiful ghost I've seen all night!

You look so good, ...

Neanderthal pickup lines...

“Hey baby, I’m fully erect.”

What pickup line do you use on the devil?

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

I just thought up what is probably the worst pickup line ever...

Are you a mirror? 'Cause I can see myself in you.

A pee themed pickup line

Normally you’re a 4 or 5, but damn girl, when you’re peeing, urinate

Nerdy pickup line

Hey baby, are you a compressed file format, because rar.

^^^^^now ^^^^^where ^^^^^did ^^^^^I ^^^^^put ^^^^^the ^^^^^bleach...

[Pickup line] Are you the Korean peninsula?

Because I'm gonna split you in two

PICKUP LINE: Don’t pay $5 for a footlong...

When you can get my 6 inch for free.

What is the most effective pickup line?

Hello, this is your Uber driver.

What’s a good musician pickup line?

You have a nice Fmaj7.

Best pickup line: How do you like your eggs in the morning...

Fertilized?

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Flat Earther pickup line

The Earth may be flat

but Uranus is round

Best pickup line ever

Girl are you a gorilla exhibit because I'm about to drop a baby in you?

Bad pickup line: Dang girl, you smell like garbage...

Can I take you out?

What pickup line do the seven dwarves use?

Hi Hoe.

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Engineering pickup lines

Engineering pickup lines:

Hey babe, what's your factor of safety?

Can I use my sigma to find your tau max?

What frequency does it take to make your O-me-ga

How big does your period need to be to reduce our frequency

How about you and I go have a couple moment
...

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Pickup lines

An old man drinking at the bar and sees a young man walk up to a girl and say "Tickle your ass with a feather?"

Clearly surprised and upset the woman replies, "What!!?"

The young man "repeats" himself and says "Particularly nice weather?"

Embarrassed by her confusion the girl ...

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Favourite pickup line...

Did you know there will be 7 planets tomorrow?

Because I am going to destroy Uranus tonight.

What is a builder's favourite pickup line?

I'd like to put my tongue in your groove.

Nerdy pickup line.

Hey baby, Are you uranium because I'm Iodine and if it was up to me I would rearrange the periodic table around and put U and I together. ;)

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Pickup line

Hey there, wanna come over and watch porn on my 50 inch flat-screen mirror?

Greatest pickup line that never works!!

I put the STD in stud, now all I need is U.

Is Allahu Akbar a good pickup line?

From what I hear, it's always getting guys blown.

A pickup line for people named Matt.

"Hey girl, you should sleep with me, my name's short for mattress." (Just made it up today, please don't hate me.)

Hamster PickUp Line?

If I was a Hamster, and I met a female hamster I liked...id say "Aye Girl, You From Amsterdam? Cause Hamster Damn!"

(cheesy pickup line) How much does a polar bear weigh?

Enough to break the ice

Pickup line: Hey girl, did I take a loan from you?

Because my interest in you keeps growing.

[Pickup Line] Are you a phillips or flathead?

OP: Uh, I don't know, why?

YOU: I'm just trying to figure out how to screw you.

My toddler tried out and age aproporiate pickup line

"Hey baby, you've got some fiiiiiiine motor skills."

What did one geneticist say to the other as a pickup line?

You look good in those genes.

What's a good pickup line in a New Age bar?

I bet it's really nice to be Enya.

Minecraft PiCkUp LiNeS

Girl, are you a redstone torch, because you really turn me on

I've been practicing pickup lines for depressed men...

Hey baby, can you get your pants lower than my self-esteem?

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If a man uses pickup lines on a girl...

Would you call it Clitbait?

I like to think of terrible pickup lines. Here's my most recent one.

"Hey girl, are you a mainstream, late 90's, early 2000's heavy metal band with a lisp?

Becauthe I'm 'Down with the Thickneth."

Looks her up and down.

Bad pickup line: those jeans look very becoming on you,

Then again, if I were on you I'd be coming too

(Since bad pickup lines seem to be the trend right now) Do you want to play barbies?

I'll be Ken, and you be the box he came in

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The best pickup line joke. Feel free to use the punchline in all your prospective hook ups.

Two guys are hanging out in a bar. One is trying to pick up women and being a smartass, the other is just a drunk.

The smartass goes up to a woman and uses his favorite pickup line. "Hey! Tickle you ass with a feather?"

The bar is loud and the woman, assuming she misheard, says "Excu...

I've been having trouble meeting girls, so I asked my dad for some advice. He said that if I wanted to break the ice, the next time I go out, I should use this pickup line...

"Ford F-150, Chevy Silverado, Dodge Ram, Toyota Tundra, Nissan Titan, GMC Sierra, Honda Ridgeline..."

What do you call a line up of dudes picking up mozzarella cheese

A cheesy pickup line

It's a little known fact that bears believe in astrology...

It's called The Kodiak.

One of their pickup lines is "Hey honey... what's ursine?"

Hope y'all like!

A guy walks up to a girl and says "Hey baby, I'm a pescatarian."

She says "that's the worst pickup line I've ever heard."

So he says "whatever, there's plenty of fish in the sea."

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