The 43+ Best Mother In Law Jokes

Mother In Law

A husband and wife had a fight.

Wife called her mom: He fought with me again, I am coming to stay with you.

Mom: No dear, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to stay with you!

I live in constant fear that Trump will deport my Latina mother in law

Who lives at 324 3rd st. Los Angeles. She gets off at 6

A man is walking along the road when he sees his mother in law being attacked by five men. His wife asks, "Aren't you going to help?".

The man says no five should be enough.

My mother in law came for a visit so I asked her - How long do you plan to stay?

Just until I start getting on your nerves, she replied.

Oh, so you won't even stay for a coffee?

I came across 6 men beating up my mother in law. My wife asked "aren't you going to help?"

I said no, 6 should be enough.

I've spend the last 10 years looking for my mother in law's killer...

But nobody will do it!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm sorry your mother in law is dead

I'm sorry your mother in law is dead he says..how did it happen?

Well it was very unfortunate..she tried to stand up but got dizzy and caught the curtains and ripped them.

oh, thats how she died

no, from the thrust she hit the 65' inch tv and fell on the crystal table.

so...

As I was picking up my mother in law from the airport, I asked her,

“So, how long do you think you’ll be staying with us?”

She answered, “Well... for as long as you like.”

“Not even for coffee??”

Why Did the mother in law cross the road?

She thought it was a boundary.

A guy sees his mother in law riding a bicycle. "Where are you going?" he asks.

"To the cemetery" she replies.

"And who is going to return the bike?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mother in law said to her son's wife when their baby was born:

"I don't mean to be rude but he doesn't look anything like my son." The daughter-in-law lifted her skirt and said: "I don't mean to be rude either, but this is a pussy, not a fucking photo-copier."

I took my mother in law out today

I love being a sniper

What do you call it when you’re late to dinner at your Mother in Law’s?

Delaying the inedible.

Have a daughter named after my mother in law

Passive-Agressive Psycho turns 5 next week

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My mother in law bought a talking parrot, but returned it a week later.

"This parrot hasn't spoke a single word." She complained.

"I haven't had a fucking chance to!" Replied the parrot.

I discovered my mother in law has weekly sessions with Lucifer himself on how to be even more vicious.

I’ve no idea what kind of fees she’s charging him.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wake for my mother-in-law

Two rural gentlemen were chatting. One says, "Say, I noticed a lot of cars at your house on Saturday night. Were you having a party or something?"

"No," responds the second man. "Tragically last week one of my mules kicked my mother in law in the head, and she died suddenly"

"Oh, No!" ...

A guys mother in law comes to live with him

One day he comes home to find her passed out on the floor. He calls 911, the paramedics come and pick her up and take her to the hospital.

The guy goes to the hospital and is in the waiting room when the doctor comes out.

The doctor says, “Well, I have some good news and some bad new...

My mother in law told me that beauty is only skin deep

She must have been born inside out...

My mother in law came down from the North of England to visit for Christmas...

...I told her "You should think about moving further South"

She was very touched until she realised I meant Antarctica

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Anagram of "mother in law"

Woman Hitler

"Where's your mother in law?"

- "She's in the garden."

- "Where? I can't see her."

- "You have to dig a little."

Two cannibals are eating dinner. One says to the other "I hate my mother in law"

The other cannibal replies "Well, then just eat the noodles"

If you are driving really fast and suddenly you see your wife and your mother in law in front of you, what will you hit first?

Brakes...... The brakes.

Mother in law dies

A guy goes on vacation in the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law.

The mother-in-law dies.

So the couple goes to an undertaker who explains that they can ship the body home, but it will cost over $5,000, whereas burying her in the Holy Land would cost only $150.

“We’ll shi...

I bought my mother in law a chair for her birthday...

But my wife wouldn't let me plug it in.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mother in law and stairs

Two old friends meet each other after a long time:

A: Oh hey, what's new?

B: Nothing much, my mother in law died.

A: Oh really, damn, how?

B: She went downstairs to the basement to get some potatoes for lunch, fell and broke her neck.

A: That's tragic, what did you...

My mother in law got pulled over

Cop asked:whats in the bottle?

She says :water

He says: it looks like wine!

She's: Praise the lord, Jesus did it again!

My mother in law said she wanted to die a natural death.

So I've just dropped her off at the jungle.

My Mother in Law fell down a wishing well

I was amazed. I never knew they worked.

My mother in law suffers from acute diabetes and hay fever....

I always try to cheer her up with chocolate and flowers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Worst Mother In Law Ever

My husband and I were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening of dinner and theatre. Having been burgled in the past, we turned on a 'night light' and the answering machine, then put the cat in the backyard.

When our cab arrived, we walked out our front door and our rather tubby cat ...

No present for your mother in law

At Christmas, a man just opened presents from his mother in law and she asks, "where's mine?"

He says, "I didn't get you anything this year."

Visibly upset, she asks why.

He says, "you never used what I got you last year."

She yells, " it was a burial plot!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife, Father and mother in-law, and myself are at dinner. The restaurant is packed. I say, "Service sure is slow tonight." Father In Law, "Tell me something I don't know." followed by a smirk. Feigning a smile, I ignore the comment.

A little later into dinner my wife and I are talking about some car trouble we were having this past week. I say, "Ford should really figure out their electrical." Father in law chimes in uninvited, "Tell me something I *don't* know!"

"Ok, 'dad'. Funny.", I think to myself. I again ignore the...

I had dinner with my mother in law the other night. Was gonna ask "would you to pass the salt, please"

But instead my tounge twisted and I said
"You stupid cow. You've completely ruined my life."

A man goes on vacation to Israel with his wife and his stepmother.

While in Israel, his stepmother died at the hotel.

The people there told him:

"Sir, if you want to bury her back in the United States, it's going to cost you $5,000 to bring back her corpse. But since she died at the hotel, we can do the funeral here in Israel for free.

The ma...

My mother in law is Spanish

My mother in law is Spanish, so when we named our son 'Muchos' it really meant a lot to her.

My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...

I️ said, “No, in fact, I️ like your mother in law a lot better than I️ like mine”

My mother in law began to address the elephant in the room

I asked her why she was talking to herself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Good Mother in Law

A woman confided to her mother that she wanted to divorce her rich husband because he wanted anal sex all the time.
The daughter explained to her mom that when they got married her asshole was the size of a dime and now it was the size of a quarter. Her mother said, “He buys you a multimillion do...

Mother in law

A lady had 3 son in laws and she wanted to know who is the sincerest of them so she thought of trying them out one by one.

One day she asked the eldest one to come and help her in some errands. On the way back home she deliberately jumped into a water well and starts to drown. The eldest with...

My mother in law just got Reddit

I want to take this opportunity to let her know how much I truly love and appreciate all she does for me and my wife.

A Man and his wife and mother in law are visiting Isreal but the mother in law dies.

the man whose helping them make the arrangements says.

You have two options

1. Send her back to the states and have her buried their.$5000
2. or you can bury her here $1000

The husband asks "Can we think about it."

The man says absolutely

one day later they c...

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Mother In Law

I live in constant fear that Trump will deport my Latina mother in law

A man is walking along the road when he sees his mother in law being attacked by five men. His wife asks, "Aren't you going to help?".

My mother in law came for a visit so I asked her - How long do you plan to stay?

I came across 6 men beating up my mother in law. My wife asked "aren't you going to help?"

I've spend the last 10 years looking for my mother in law's killer...

I'm sorry your mother in law is dead

As I was picking up my mother in law from the airport, I asked her,

Why Did the mother in law cross the road?

A guy sees his mother in law riding a bicycle. "Where are you going?" he asks.

A mother in law said to her son's wife when their baby was born:

I took my mother in law out today

What do you call it when you’re late to dinner at your Mother in Law’s?

Have a daughter named after my mother in law

My mother in law bought a talking parrot, but returned it a week later.

I discovered my mother in law has weekly sessions with Lucifer himself on how to be even more vicious.

A wake for my mother-in-law

A guys mother in law comes to live with him

My mother in law told me that beauty is only skin deep

My mother in law came down from the North of England to visit for Christmas...

Anagram of "mother in law"

"Where's your mother in law?"

Two cannibals are eating dinner. One says to the other "I hate my mother in law"

If you are driving really fast and suddenly you see your wife and your mother in law in front of you, what will you hit first?

Mother in law dies

I bought my mother in law a chair for her birthday...

Mother in law and stairs

My mother in law got pulled over

My mother in law said she wanted to die a natural death.

My Mother in Law fell down a wishing well

My mother in law suffers from acute diabetes and hay fever....

The Worst Mother In Law Ever

No present for your mother in law

My wife, Father and mother in-law, and myself are at dinner. The restaurant is packed. I say, "Service sure is slow tonight." Father In Law, "Tell me something I *don't* know." followed by a smirk. Feigning a smile, I ignore the comment.

I had dinner with my mother in law the other night. Was gonna ask "would you to pass the salt, please"

A man goes on vacation to Israel with his wife and his stepmother.

My mother in law is Spanish

My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...

My mother in law began to address the elephant in the room

Good Mother in Law

Mother in law

My mother in law just got Reddit

A Man and his wife and mother in law are visiting Isreal but the mother in law dies.

My wife, Father and mother in-law, and myself are at dinner. The restaurant is packed. I say, "Service sure is slow tonight." Father In Law, "Tell me something I don't know." followed by a smirk. Feigning a smile, I ignore the comment.