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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am over 18

Sometimes I want to have sex when my girlfriend is on her period…

So I will lay a towel on the bed, and then lay her on the towel. And then I will go have sex with one of her friends.

-Dan Mintz from his album The Stranger

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My wife is the only one I’ve been with

Everyone else is a nine or a ten.

~Dan Mintz~

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I assured my wife she's the only one I've ever slept with

The others have mostly been eight and nines.

(Credit: Dan Mintz stand-up)

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I'm dating a half-Asian girl.

Her mom's Korean and her dad's Korean, and her legs got torn off in a car accident.

- Dan Mintz

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