Magic Word Jokes - 16 Hilarious Magic Word Jokes

Like "please" is the magic word for humans, "mom" is the magic word for lost items.

Calling out "Mom!" will make the item appear instantly out of nowhere.

What are the magic words you say to get what you want?

I'm offended

The magic word

Daughter: Dad, do I get a new Iphone?
Dad: What's the magic word?
Daughter: Larissa!
Dad: Larissa??
Daughter: yes, your affair!
Dad: Do you want a cover with your Iphone too?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend just dumped me.

She said in a teary tirade:

“I can’t take your any more. You’re such a pedant. Everything I do is wrong. I loved you so much, but it’ll never be enough for you. I’m leaving now. Me and Gary are driving up north through the night and then you’ll never hear from me again”

She was a...

The girl I'm dating just said those three magic words.

"I am infertile."

Always remember that the key to a happy marriage is to use those three magic words.

You're right dear.

Yesterday, my girlfriend told me those 3 magic words which can leave you feeling like you're walking on air.

"Go hang yourself"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The morning of my wife's birthday, I handed her her first gift.

As she unwrapped it she said, "It's a wand! What do I want with a wand?"

"It's not just any wand," I replied, "It's a magic wand!"

"Really?" she said. "What does it do?"

"Why don't you give it shake," I told her, "and don't forget to say the magic words."

...

A little boy wants his toy,

A little boy wants his toy, so he walks up to his mother and says "Mom, give me my toy." His mother responds by saying, "What are the magic words?" So the little boy says the magic words and his mom gives him his toy.

The next day, the little boy starts kindergarten. At snack time, the littl...

What is Barney's Facebook Password?

PleaseAndThankYou

They're the magic words.

i phone

Son: I want an iPhone X for Christmas

Dad: What's the magic word?

Son: Karen

Dad: Who's Karen.

Son: The woman that comes over when I'm asleep and mum is out...

Dad: ...

Son: ...

Dad: You want a case with that ...

new iPhone 7

son: Daddy, buy me the new iPhone 7

Dad: What is the magic word?

son: Natasha

Dad: who is Natasha

son: your lover

Dad: do you need also a case?

A long time ago in Judaea...

There's a woman buried up to her neck in the sand, and angry villagers are eagerly waiting with sticks and stones.

But! There comes a man, and he's beautiful and charismatic, and when he speaks, everybody listens. So he speaks and he concludes "he who never sinned throweth the first stone", a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a supercilious king who liked hunting.

To show off his abilities, He went in a jungle to kill a lion with only one bullet in his revolver. He waited in bush for lion to come. After a few hours, a lion showed up. He aimed at lion and fired his only bullet. He missed and lion ran away. He became upset and screamed, "HOLY , I F\*\*KING ...

As a crowded airliner is about to take off

As a crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a 5-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down, the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jim's Birthday Hat

Jim's birthday was coming up, and as much as he enjoyed his birthday, he dreaded the obligations that came with it. Despite his vehement protests, his wife had arranged lunch with the whole family, including his witch of a mother-in-law. But Jim was a good man and said he'd be on his best behaviour....

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