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Kowalski Jokes

Kowalski, dialysis.

Kidneys are failing, sir.

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Kowalski goes into the ice cream parlor and orders a chocolate ice cream..

”I’m sorry, sir,” says the clerk, ”but we are out of chocolate.”

”Oh,” says Kowalski, ”in that case I will take some chocolate.”

”No, no, sir,” says the clerk, ”you don’t understand. We have run out of chocolate.”

”Oh,” says Kowalski, ”then, just give me some chocolate.”
...

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Everyone knows what Neil Armstrong said as he stepped onto the moon, but few people know what he said as he boarded the lander to take off- "Good luck Mr. Kowalski."

Years later when a biographer asked him about it, Armstrong told him about a time he heard his neighbors having a huge fight.

Mrs. Kowalski was really tearing into her husband, Neil could hear her yelling from clear across his yard. Curious, he snuck closer to the window of their house just ...

A doctor made a mistake and unknowingly prescribed his patient a powerful laxative instead of cough drops.

At the end of the week the patient comes back for a check-up. The doctor asks him: “*So how’s it going, Mr. Kowalski? Do you still cough a lot ?*''

The patient, who’s been sitting there very rigidly, looks at him with wide eyes, “*No. I’m afraid to*.”

Mr Henderson

It was early Friday afternoon and Mr. Henderson announced that he was going home early for the weekend. His employees were sure that the boss was going to play golf and wouldn’t be calling in, so within 10 minutes, all of them left, too.

But when Kowalski, the shipping clerk, came home, he fo...

Three workers show up for their first day in a mine

The foreman eyes them up to determine their respective roles. There’s a Polish man, Irish man, and a Chinese man.

“Kowalski, you’re a big guy. You’ll swing the pick and chip away at the coal” says the foreman.

“OKeefe, you’re strong too. Shovel the coal in this cart and wheel it up to...

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An Italian, an Irishman, and a Polack are in line for a job interview.

The Italian is up first. He walks into the boss’s office and notices the boss is completely ear-less.

The boss says to him “Mr. Marino, I don’t have a lot of time so I’ll get to the point. I like people who are observant and can speak their mind. Say one thing about me!”

The Italian sa...

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A German ugly man, a ravishing blonde and an ultra-hot brunette are sitting in a train on its way through the Alps.

The hotties are talking and at some point the man listens to this:

Blonde: "I heard Native Americans have not only nice dicks but they are also very long!"

Brunette "Yes, I've heard of that. The weird thing is that Polish men also have very nice penises but they are also very thick!"...

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Sexual Satisfaction

"Hi. Couldn't help but notice the book you're reading"

"Yes, it's about finding sexual satisfaction. It's interesting. Did you know that, statistically, American Indian and Polish men are the best lovers? By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"

"Flying Cloud Kowalski. Nice to meet ...

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A business man gets on an airplane...

As luck would have it, he sits down next to this gorgeous blonde bombshell. As the plane is taxiing, he looks over and notices her reading a book.

The plane takes off and gets to cruising altitude, and the business man looks over and says, “My! That must be an interesting book. You haven’t t...

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A man boards a plane after a business trip...

... and he sits next to a gorgeous blonde woman. He notices that she's reading a book called "100 Facts About Sex You Never Knew" and asks her if it's any good. She says, "Yea it's really interesting. Did you know that statistically, Native American men have the thickest penises of any race?" "Oh wo...

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