Illegal Alien Jokes - 13 Hilarious Illegal Alien Jokes

What’s the difference between E.T. and an illegal alien?

E.T. Learned English and wanted to go home.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Let’s have illegal aliens hunt down sex offenders for a chance at citizenship.

We’ll call it “Aliens vs. Predators”

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien

"Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." He tells him.

 

The mexican man pleads with the officer, "No, nooo, pleeze Senior, I must stay in te USA! Pleeeze!"

 

The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to m...

How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 13 million illegal aliens?

Juan by Juan

Apparently Donald Trump's favourite film is E.T...

Because it's about an illegal alien that goes home.

Donald Trump heard about the Area 51 raid today and he said he wants to go.

He said, "if there are illegal aliens there I want to find them and send them back to their own planet."

Texas hunting rules

A Californian and an Texan were deer hunting in the brush of south Texas when an illegal alien runs across a clearing. The Texan takes careful aim, shoots and kills him. "You can't do that!" cried the Californian.

"It's legal here in Texas" replies the Texan.

Later that night the Ca...

Do Transformers get car insurance or health insurance?

Neither, they are illegal aliens.

Texas Sheriffs Deputy Exam

A man in Texas looking to join the Frio County Sheriffs Dept. was being interviewed. The Sergeant doing the interview says, "Your qualifications look good, but there's an attitude suitability test you must pass before you can be accepted."

Then, sliding a Smith and Wesson 45 pistol across the...

Why is Superman scared of ice?

Because Superman is an illegal alien and he might get deported.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Mexican, an Arab, and a redneck girl......

A Mexican, an Arab, and a redneck girl are in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'

The Arab, ob...

Texas Sheriff's Exam

A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman.

He grew up big, 6' 2", strong as a longhorn, and fast as a mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces.

When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff's Depart...

I was walking through the mall and I saw a Muslim bookstore.

I was curious to what was actually in a Muslim bookstore so I went in.

As I walked around I saw the salesman give me the stink eye, but asked if he could help me.

I knew I probably wasn't his usual clientele, so I asked "Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. Immigratio...

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