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Golf Swing Jokes

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Dylan was practicing his golf swing in his front yard when he swung a little too hard and sent the ball through his neighbors window. He rang the bell but nobody answered so he opened the door to see an old lamp lying near broken glass and a huge fat Arabian man wearing a turban sitting on the couch

Dylan asked, "Who are you?" The fat man replied, "I am a genie you have freed from that lamp."

Dylan questioned, "Oh man, do I get three wishes?" The genie replied, "Since you freed me by accident you only get two and I get one."

Dylan thought about it and realized what he wanted, "I w...

A genie appears and offers a golfer three wishes.

A genie appears and offers a golfer three wishes.

“The only catch,” says the genie, “is that whatever you wish for, your wife will receive 10 times over.”

“OK,” the guy says. “I want to be the best golfer in the world.”

The genie blinks and suddenly the guy can feel a new golf s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife came home to find me in bed with a young, attractive blonde girl

She said "what the fuck are you doing?"
I replied, "we're practicing our golf swings"
"That's a stupid answer!".....I said, "well, that was a stupid fucking question"

Tried it once, hated it, never again!

A young Englishman is a new member at the local club, trying to socialize with an older gentleman.

Englishman: Had a jolly good fox hunt this weekend, I say…

Gentleman: Hah! Fox hunt, eh? Tried it once, hated it, never again!

Undeterred, the young man tries again.

English...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Golf Truisims

* Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

* Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during
your swing.

* When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either use
one more club or two more balls.

* If you're afraid a ful...

Once upon a time Jesus and Moses were playing golf...

Once upon a time Jesus and Moses were playing golf.
This course had a particularly difficult hole,
and Moses expressed his doubts that
Jesus could make the shot over the water.

"Watch this, Moses, I think I can do it," exclaimed Jesus.
"I've seen Arnold Palmer make this shot,
G...

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