First Year Jokes - 25 Hilarious First Year Jokes

Since this is the first year that I’ve remembered my cake day, here’s my four year old’s favorite joke. What did one hat say to the other hat?

You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of first year medical students are gathered around a table with a naked cadaver on it…..

Their instructor motions for them to come close for their first 3 lessons of medical school.

“The first lesson is that you must not be afraid of the human body, alive or dead” he says as some of the students are visibly uncomfortable.

He then holds up a finger and says, “you must als...

Every year for Valentine’s Day I used to always get a card from a secret admirer. This is the first year where I haven’t received anything.

First my granny dies, now this?

In a first year college course on philosophy, the instructor noticed one of their students about to fall asleep, so asked,

"You there, what is work?"

The student opened their eyes, thought for a second and responded, "Everything is work."

"What? Everything is work?"

"Yes, teacher."

"Then I take it you would like the class to believe that this desk is work?"

"Yes, wood work", they repl...

This year was the first year I couldnt travel to Europe because of Covid-19.

Before this I couldnt because I didnt have money.

People say the first year of marriage is the hardest

Trust me, the last year is way, way harder.

This is the first year I’m not going to travel because of covid

Normally it’s because I’m poor

In University I was doing a 'Degree In Communism' . . . but had to drop out after the first year . . .

. . . lousy Marx

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First year students at Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class

First year students at Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered in a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine,it is necessary to have two important qu...

In my first year of college, I had 5 times the number of girlfriends that I had in my four years of high school.

5 x 0 = 0

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A farmgirl returns home after her first year away at college...

Her father picks her up at the train station and starts driving back to the farm.

After a while the young lady turns to her father and says, "Daddy, I`ve got to tell you something - I ain`t a virgin no more."

Without taking his eyes off the road, the farmer replies,"Sugar-pie, to ...

The First 3 Years of Marriage

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen

Being a freshman everyone always told me first year would go quickly...

but I didn’t realise it would ZOOM

(im sorry)

English to become the official European language

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A large group of first year medical school students filed into a lab...

...during their first week, for the first meeting of their gross anatomy class where they would be examining human cadavers. The professor walked to the front of the room, and addressed the students:

"The most important quality you will need as a physician is unfazability. Nothing can '...

This is the first year I’m not going on vacation to Paris because of covid.

Usually I don’t go because I can’t afford it.

Did you know Adam cut his wife's ears off to celebrate the first year?

Adam: "Happy no ears, Eve!"

Due to COVID-19, this was the first year I could not go to Switzerland for my summer vacation

Otherwise it's due to the lack of money.

A doctor was addressing his first year med students on their first day working with cadavers...

The doctor at the head of the class told them, "In order to make sure you all have the right stuff to become medical doctors, please do exactly as I do".

.

The doctor then made an incision into the abdomen on the body before him and waited until all of the students had done the same. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do first year film students like analyzing porn?

It's easy to identify the climax.

Thanks to COVID-19, this is the first year I've not been able to run the London Marathon owing to lockdown.

Every other year it's been because I'm overweight, can't run, and am too lazy to even try.

Professor opened with this in first year engineering lecture: What do engineers use for birth control?

Their personalities

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2018 was the first year with teen porn stars born in a different millennium

2019 will be the first year with "milf" porn starts born in a different millennium

Some first year uni students come home in the holiday for a surprise maths test of 'What's 2 + 2?'

The engineer says 'well it's 3.75, but given the situation we can round it to 5'

The mathematician goes and works for a while, then comes back saying 'I don't know what the answer is, but I know one exists'

The astrophysicist says 'rounding to the nearest million the answer would be 0'...

The first year I didn't eat Thanksgiving leftovers on the day after.

I quit cold turkey.

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