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A gem from the YouTube comment section

"This watch has tremendous sentimental value to me. My father sold it to me on his deathbed." -Woody Allen

So a village boy and a modern girl fall in love and want to try 69

The boy doesn’t know about 69 so the girl takes the lead.

He lies down on the floor and she squats down over his face to assume the position and farts out uncontrollably directly in his face. Embarrassed she stands up and apologises.

She squats down for another go but farts again, thi...

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All these reviews people are leaving in the comment section of pornhub

I just hope there’s a pretentious ratatouille style porn critic who sees that one video that sends him back to his childhood when he developed his very first kink

So I once saw an argument in a comment section, a man said, “How many chromosomes do you have?”

The other replied, “More than you”.

The sheer confidence he had

A high quality post on a website with active comment section

*Top Comment *
Thank you for the gold stranger

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What’s the difference between the comment sections and a man eating a chili dog?

I dunno. All I know is after an hour they both go to shit.

What do Baptist churches and YouTube comment sections have in common?

They both claim that they're first.

How do you know if a person is sad and bored af?

You'll probably see one in the comment section.

How many redditors does it take to post a joke to /r/Jokes?

Three. One to post it, another to post a better punchline in the comment section, and another to repost it with the new punchline.

What did 0 say to 8?

Nice belt, m8

Reddit is supposed to be a place of open and honest discussion where every opinion counts.

If you don't agree, stay out of the comment section.

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Why do blind people hate sky diving?

It scares the shit out of their dogs

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If you ever feel useless...

.. Remember that there is a comment section on porn sites.

Time zones

Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish these time zones.

Why, Putin asks him?

Ah, I can't find myself with these times: -

I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep,

I last woke you up at 4 in the mornin...

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A boob, a vagina and an asshole

are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them!
Boob - "I give milk to new born babies and I'm attractive to the opposite sex, that's why I am the greatest!"
Vagina - "That's nothing, I give birth to new born and can accommodate the opposite sex, that's why I am the greatest!"
......

/r/Jokes is like a wedding

and the comment section is like that one guest that uses it as an opportunity to propose to his girlfriend.

A teacher asks her class,

"If there are 14 birds on the fence and you shoot 2 of them off. How many are left?"

One little boy says, "None, because the shotgun scared them all off."

The teacher says, "that's not the answer I was looking for, but I like the way you think."

The boy then asks the teacher, "...

A drink in Hell

A man dies and goes to hell, and on his first day the Devil gives him a tour.

The man is paying attention and seeing the sites (torture sites, internet comment sections, etc.) and he gets really hot and thirsty.

Coincidentally, the next stop on the tour is the only place to get a drin...

An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical...

An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room.

He tells the old man, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample."

The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT? What di...

A collection of math jokes

A big, muscly man enters the bar, slams the counter and says in a deep voice: I want 10 times more beer than everyone here is having.

The bartender says: Now thats an order of magnitude


---------------/


An infinite number of mathematicians enter a bar. The first asks for...

John started working in a color pigment company...

John started working in a color pigment company which specialises in mixing and editing different color pigments according to their customers's demands. Once the color pigments were done, they would be mailed out to the customers with a detailed note commenting on the properties of the produced colo...

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