UPJOKE
fiveochodiezunosseisnueveahorafelizbuenossieteesosestasciudadbuenobuena

Cinco Jokes

Happy Star Wars Day/Cinco de Mayo

Chewie today, Chuy tomorrow

Donald Trump goes to a fortune teller and asks "When am I going to die?"

The fortune teller replies: "you will die on a major Mexican holiday."

Trump asks: "Which Mexican holiday? Cinco de Mayo? Dia de los muertos?"

The fortune teller replies: "ANY day you die, Donald, will be a major Mexican holiday!"

Why does the Mexican guy take xanax?

For hispanic attacks

Cinco de Mayo and the Titanic

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England .

In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico , which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York ..
...

Conor McGregor hates cinco de mayo...

It's nothing personal, he just cant stand Mayweather.

I hate Cinco De Mayo!

-Said no Juan ever

Happy Cinco De-

Ported

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cinco de mayo

So I'm out here celebrating cinco de mayo with a big taco bowl (not the Donald Trump kind) and my dad says "cinco de mayo, I always forget what day that is." So I'm like... Dad... It's literally in the title of the Holiday. So he says "Well no one calls the 29th piece of shit day!" The 29th of Janua...

What do you call four Latinos in quicksand?

Quatro Cinco

This year will be the first Cinco de Mayo ...

When Americans try to avoid getting a case of Corona.

What's the difference between St Patrick's Day and Cinco De Mayo?

Everyone is proud to be Irish on St Paddy's day

How do '90s kids count to 6?

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, cinco, seis.

Happy Cinco De Mayo. A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three

He says "uno, dos..." then disappears without a tres.

In honor of Cinco De Mayo - Why do Mexicans cross the border two at a time?

Because the signs say "No Trespassing".

I was trying to think of a bad joke for Cinco de Mayo

but all of mine are 5/5

Since it's Cinco De Mayo, I think i'm gonna eat a little mexican tonight!

And after that, I'll have dinner!

I once knew a homeless man named Cuatro Cinco. He would stand on the corner all day yelling, "Count 1,2,3... Count 1,2,3!!!"

One day I asked him,"Why should I count 1,2,3?"

He replied, "Because, Cuatro Cinco says!"

Dad jokes

### What do you call 4 Mexicans in quick sand?

Cuatro cinco

A Spanish man is showing his friend his boats

He tells his friend he has a boat named uno, dos, tres, cuatro, and seis.

His friend asks what happened to the fifth one

The Spanish man says: Cinco!

At the turn of the last century, Mexico was introduced to mayonnaise.

At the turn of the last century, Mexico was introduced to mayonnaise.

And they just loved it. They couldn't make mayonnaise quick enough.

Little known fact, the Titanic had a large vat of mayonnaise that was going to go to Mexico.

Now when the Titanic sunk, and the mayonnaise we...

Monty Smith

Monty has five letters in his first name...
He has 5 letters in his second name...

He has lived his entire life at 555 West 55th Street
In NYC

And worked his entire career at Saks 5 Avenue

He met his wife in Fifth Grade..

He has 5 kids and owns 5 cars...

Nee...

The Titanic and mayonnaise

What a lot of people don't know about the Titanic was that it was carrying a large shipment of mayonnaise to Mexico. In fact, the Mexican people were overjoyed to be receiving this fine delicacy.

Sadly, as we all know, the Titanic tragically sank, sending its many tons of mayonnaise to the bo...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.